long hours, longer days

prologue

There always seemed to be such a stillness, usually before something awful happens. I sat apon my couch, reading a book with a fresh warm cup of tea in my hand as my eyes wandered, making up pictures and scenarios in my head. I always found it interesting and somehow profound that staring at a dead tree with tattoos on it can make my mind hallucinate in a way that is somehow under my control. Maybe I look too deep into things. My better half is lying on the other end of the couch. He's hardly silent or still, so I'm surprised he hasn't started bothering me yet. Though, I wouldn't be completely sad if he did bother me, as I enjoy his company. He had a book in his hand as well, but I know for a fact he's not reading it. He probably thinks it's boring, since he's never seemed to get past the first half of the book that's always going to be boring until the underlying conflict begins to bubble at the seams. I often encourage him to read, as I think it would give him something to do, and I suppose we'd have another common interest, but he's never been interested in anything that requires silence. He likes to talk. A lot. I've gotten used to it, in fact, I've grown to love the sound of his voice.
I glanced over at him, wondering if there was something wrong, as it was a little odd for him to be so silent. He had the book I gave him draped over his chest as he stared up at the ceiling, looking incredibly uninterested. I soon took another sip of my tea before setting it and my book down on the coffee table. I stretched a bit before lying down next to sonic and quickly wrapping my arms around him, closing my eyes, and letting out a comfortable sigh. I figured sonic needed some attention, considering we often see each other in strange intervals. My job makes it difficult to be in the same spot for too long, and I'll usually be gone for days or even months on end.
I felt sonic adjusting himself more comfortably and his soft hands running through my quills. Usually when we were home alone he would take his gloves off. Interestingly enough, gloves are like clothes for sonics hands, as a part of the culture he grew up with. He says that when he takes his gloves off it feels like a private thing, as if without his gloves he's completely naked. I find it strangely affectionate that he has no problem being gloveless around me, as if he wouldn't feel uncomfortable or unsafe if he was completely naked around me, which is pretty much all the time, but with the added context it feels more like he does it as an adoring gesture.
I have no problems with taking my gloves off around anyone, but I suppose that's because I wasn't raised to believe it was a private, almost taboo thing. After learning about sonics interesting culture, I figured sonic, as my "mate" or "partner" would probably feel like I've been disloyal if I were to take my gloves off around anyone else, so I don't. I take my gloves off for him and only him.
I heard a soft sigh escape his lips, which seemed to calm me as well. My body sunk into sonic further, feeling more like I was some kind of goo. I guess this is what relaxation feels like. He pulled me in further and I was certain we were going to fall asleep like this. The sound of his breathing was almost angelic, like a silky song that came so naturally it was almost intoxicating. I was drifting off, about to let the tempting lure of sleep carry me away until sonic finally spoke.
"I love you, shadow.." he said it sounding half asleep. This line had been unprompted by me, making it feel more genuine. This wasn't the first time I've heard this from him, and it won't be the last time that I say it back. Obviously I love him. He's the only person who has ever made an effort to understand me, or rather, understand that I don't understand myself, and a lot of my perspective is detached and almost fabricated in a way. He understands me so that I don't have to, he keeps track of the things I do so casually without even thinking and manages to hold every action I make to the highest regard.
Mostly, he understands that I have a difficult time expressing how I feel verbally, and he's learned that my actions mean a lot. I have said it back before, but in some instances I can't bring myself to say it back, and not because I don't love him, but because the moment begins to feel rather tender and I don't want to ruin it with my voice. I grab his hand, bringing it to my lips gently. I held it there for a while, hoping he would understand my gesture.
Some would call me shy, or out of touch, but either way I have him, and he understands regardless. I really do love him.
I suddenly felt his lips against my forehead and I couldn't help but smile. He rested his hand against my cheek and I felt him exhale softly. Something seemed a bit off, like he was upset at something or depressed. I'm not used to him being so quiet and honestly I don't know whether to feel concerned or relaxed. He stroked my cheek with his thumb tenderly and continuously. I could lay here with him for hours and never get bored of it.
He suddenly began to readjust himself, bringing himself down to my level, so our foreheads were pressed together. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer so our bodies were also touching. He always felt the need to get closer to me. Sometimes it seems like he won't be satisfied until we've completely merged into one being. I accommodate his needs, readjusting myself as well for a more comfortable position.
Our legs were tangled carelessly and our hands were moving along each other's bodies gently. I half expected this to become sexual, knowing sonic and how he likes to behave around me, but it remained purely tender. My eyes were closed and I felt his hand against my cheek, his thumb rubbing underneath my eye slowly. Then he leaned in, placing a soft kiss on my lips. My eyes slightly opened in surprise, but quickly fluttered closed. I gently squeezed his hip then pulled him a bit closer. I felt him smile against my lips before he pulled away from the kiss. He pulled me closer until he decided to just lay on top of me, his arms wrapped around my back and his face nuzzled between my neck and my shoulder. Remember what I said about his insatiable need to get as close as possible?
I rested my hands on his back, subconsciously massaging the quills on his back with my fingers. I sighed comfortably. Being with him like this wasn't exactly where I thought I'd be 5 years ago, but I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world. Even if I was able to see maria, or somehow go back in time to when I was young and growing on the arc, I wouldn't be happy. As much as I miss her, and how she helped me stay sane during all the maddening experimentation and excruciating pain, I was never happy on the Arc. I am happy right where I am, with sonic. Maria is dead, and while it saddens me greatly, It is unproductive to care so much about something I can't change.
With sonic I feel genuine enlightenment, like I have something to look forward to, to protect and keep as my own. He's not perfect, but neither am I, and we both understand that. Through the two years I've been with this man I've come to realize that a relationship, or romance in general I suppose, takes work from both ends. I've put more work into this relationship with sonic in the two years I've been with him than I ever put into the relationship I had with maria. I shouldn't compare, but basically what I'm saying is that it's all been worth it.
I realized through my inner monologue that sonic had fallen asleep. His body was fully relaxed against me and his breathing was shallow. I opened my eyes, examining his body language completely to make sure he was asleep. I slowly turned my head so my mouth was closer to his ear.
"I love you..." I whispered softly. "I love you so much..."
Somehow its easier to say these things when he can't hear me. I embarrass myself, I really do, or rather, I give myself secondhand embarrassment. A part of me hopes he heard me, and another part of me begs to God that he didn't. While I've been told I can be a bit cold, or heartless (which isn't true) I'm unbelievably shy. Sonic seems to be the only person who's ever seen that, and it makes me even more shy, because I know if I suddenly have a burst of confidence it's going to be awkward to him, since he's so used to my reticent attitude. I think a lot and I want a lot of things, but I don't usually voice my needs, I take what i want, but when it comes to sonic I'm never able to just take without feeling somewhat, I don't know, guilty? Taking from someone who has done nothing but give to me feels criminal.
I took in a big breath, his sensational scent filling my brain with all sorts of pleasant feelings. I exhaled softly before tightening my arms around sonic.
Everything was perfect, the scent, the warmth, the comfort. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else but here, like this, with him.
Abruptly and very unpleasantly, my phone began ringing on the table, surprising me and waking sonic up. I groaned, reaching over to get my phone but simultaneously trying my best not to move too far from the position I was in. I groaned at the caller ID before answering the phone.
"On a scale of one to ten, how important is this?" I asked, pinching the bridge of my nose in annoyance.
"Is a silenced war brewing against our town important enough for you?" The man on the phone was my boss, a man who I happen to despise. He uses me as some kind of weapon, I swear.
"Hmph, I suppose. When am I going to need to come in?" I glanced at sonic who was watching curiously, as he always was.
"As soon as possible would be fantastic." The tone in my boss's voice sounded condescending, because he knows he has authority over me, and I believe he loves to abuse me with it.
"Tsk." I looked up at the ceiling, thinking for a moment. "I'll be in tomorrow afternoon."
"You'll be in tomorrow morning."
I grit my teeth, furring my brow. "I'll be in tomorrow night." I snapped in response, hanging up before he could lecture me. I sighed as I set my phone down, still visibly angry. My boss knows exactly how to get under my skin and I despise it.
I felt sonic kiss my cheek softly, catching me off guard. I turned to look at him. He rested his head against my chest, looking up at me.
"Work?" He asked quietly.
My expression softened slightly at his tender voice. "Yeah.. work." I replied, keeping my eyes on the ceiling.
Sonic was silent for a minute as he fiddled with my chest fur erratically. "How long are you gonna be gone?" He asked, sounding a bit sad.
I felt a slight lump in my throat at this, knowing how much I'm going to miss him. "You know I'd never get a straight answer if I asked." I replied, keeping my voice low and somewhat gentle.
The silence that filled the air was somehow very loud, and I couldn't help but cringe slightly. I looked down at sonic, who was staring off into space, a frown on his face, making me feel bad. I tightened my grip on him affectionately. There were many things I wanted to say, but I couldn't bring myself to speak.
I heard him sigh before he sat up, looking into my eyes. He held my face in his hands and pulled me in for a kiss. "I don't like it when you leave." He said softly after pulling back, his lips inches from mine.
"I don't like leaving..." I replied, placing my hands on his hips.
"Then don't." Sonic quickly snapped back.
I chuckled slightly. "You know I can't do that, no matter how much I want to..."
Sonic pouted, crossing his arms over my chest. "Aww." He began, staring at me with half lidded eyes. "Is the big bad ultimate lifeform afraid of his boss?" He said jokingly.
I stared at him for a moment, before chuckling softly. "It's more complicated than that." I replied calmly.
"So you admit you are afraid of him." Sonic laughed. I kept a small smile, to ease him, but in reality it's not that I'm scared of him, it's that I'm terrified of the town that sonic lives in becoming under attack. My job is simultaneously keeping the villains at bay and keeping sonic safe, which is what I live for. I have to work, I'm the most capable, the most efficient... But I hate my job. It's tedious, I'm usually being lied to about something, most of the people I work with are as emotionally unstable as teenagers, and I'm away from sonic the entire time.
I realized that I had stopped smiling and was staring at the ceiling mindlessly. Sonic giggled at this, poking me in the cheek softly. "Well I should make sure you know how much I love you before you leave me again." He said. The insinuation that I would leave him willingly didn't really cheer me up, but I'm sure he meant it as a joke. I didn't have much time to think about it anyways, as sonic had captivated me with his lips against mine. I realized what he had meant by his previous statement and smiled slightly.
Sonic was always such a sexually indiscriminate being.