Cause We're Connected

Relationships are everywhere. Connections can form at any time. That's often the case whenever you meet someone new.

The barista that made your coffee. The guy that drove your taxi. The people you crossed by to get that sandwich at lunch, and then to clean it up. You make connections every moment.

To form a relationship, you maintain it. The same barista after a while, you learn their name. You learn how they came to work at this coffee shop. You learn if they're a highschooler, or a college student just making it through. You might know if they're dating someone or are married. You learn their favorite person to work with. And they know you. Your usual is always pre-made with all of the fixings, just before you walk in the door. Some days they even know when you want a muffin or a croissant, instead of just your usual drink.

Your taxi driver knows your route. You know his best jokes, he knows your worst. Maybe you learned the number to call for complaints, or to give gift tips. You know when he needs the biggest tip because you know when his kids are off to college and he's home alone. You and him both know when traffic is worst.

The sandwich people keep your table clear. You know the daily specials by heart. The kitchen can keep your favorites cause they know you're coming today. Maybe the waitress saved an extra cookie for you. Maybe the cashier took your extra change as a tip. You don't mind. The same shitty customer came before you, so the cashier deserved the tip.

You make different connections to form relationships. They brighten or darken your day. Often, they don't last beyond that encounter. It never comes around to bite your ass.

The relationships with your family is a whole other matter. It lasts. It changes the way you grow. They could hinder your growth, or encourage it.

If your father has a habit of yelling at you for touching his expo display, that affects how you handle rage. It affects the way your body experiences rage coming from others. Or how you yourself act when angry. If your father often compares you to your sibling, and shame your only efforts to prove your worth, how does that affect you? What kind of person do you become?

Say you have a loving, but grieving father. He loves you still, that love has never faded. His eyes often wander, however, to where she stood or played. They still celebrate your achievements, attending your graduation where you graduated top of your class. No celebration is had during her year. You don't want to have anything to celebrate that year. You feel that grief, too, but your father feels it more. Are you a kinder man for that? Or are you more resentful?

What about your mother? Oh, that's the worst. Your mother is the first person to ever show you love. She holds you in her body, then later holds you to her heart. She gives you your first meal. If she doesn't love you, who are you? What kind of person do you become when the first person you ever meet lacks love for you?

If your mother spends most of her time in a drug induced haze, not paying attention to any aspect of your life, until you are in trouble, does that change you? Or what about if one mother gives you up, but another picks you up? Another mother swears you are her child from the moment you were placed in her arms. Can that fill the hole in the same way? Does your fate change, or does it remain?

Watching your mother and father teaches you about love. The way your mom makes him coffee in the morning. Is there coffee? Does she ignore it? Does she make shit coffee but your dad drinks it anyway? Hearing what your father says about your mother to others. Is there a running joke he tells to his coworkers and his kids to complain? If he hears a complaint about your mother, does he fly to defend her? It is the first experience you have of a romantic relationship.

It shows you what love can look like. It can give you a goal to reach with your loved one, or a system to avoid. Maybe your parents were soulmates and they met early and had you early. Or maybe they weren't soulmates, and they shouldn't have had you at all.