satire fics cuz im bored as booty cheeks

Gay sex

-------------------------------------------------
The short twink stands in front of the tall edgy boyfriend of his as he speaks in a squeaky uwu voice.

"H-hey t-there a-a-alpha!"
"Hey there kitten"

The taller male then walks up and starts violently smooching the twink. The twink starts to moan and squirm in his grasp as the kiss goes on. The edgy male then picks him up and brings him to the kitchen.
(Kitchen smex)

He then sits the twink down on the kitchen island and starts to violently rip his clothes off.

The twink then submissively opens his legs showing off his little dick and man pussy
(Im gonna kms)

The edgy man then roughly grasps his thighs and holds his legs open as he begins to violently pound into the smallers entrance with his long wee wee
(Crying)

After about an hour of moaning and clapping sounds from the kitchen, the taller man pulls out and backs up a bit and the grip on the smaller mans thighs remained. A loud pop sound could be heard as he pulled out of the other. And the uwu kitten winces in pain and pleasure as the edgy alpha male tells him to get on his knees and suck his dick.
(Im gonna choke on a glock)

(Watch my nine millimeter go bang><)

The little uwu kitten obliged and immediately got down onto his knees. And then he began to slowly, but surely take the others shaft into their little mouth. The edgy alpha male then began to make the other suck him deeper while letting out low growls and groans of pleasure, before cumming in the uwu kittens mouth.
"Good kitty. Now drink it for the alpha."
"Y-y-yes m-m-m-master"

(Krilling my shelf)

*Time skip*
In the morning, the uwu kitten woke up in bed feeling sick, the alpha male was still asleep, but the uwu kitten got worried. So he decided to pull out an emergency pregnancy test and use it, as any normal person would do with a pregnancy test. When he was done using it, he looked down and waited for the result quietly, making sure not to wake the other. after roughly around two to three minutes, he was pregnant.

(Dont ask me how I know, this shit is coming from my pookie boo on call)

He cries happy tears and gently shakes awake the edgy alpha to give him the good news.

(This is satire you whores istg if I get any comments im executing you.)

__________________________________
I shed a few tears writing this. This is what happens when you let two dumbasses have free time on call.
Anygays hope you all suffer 😜
Word count:454