Science fiction. Love and defection

Science fiction. Love and defection

"Terrible, really very terrible! You have caused me a lot of pain ever since you realised that he is alive.

Haven't you?

You often very decently deny this whenever I ask you, but your mumbling words always suggest your affection and your deep feelings towards him. And here I am, living with you now for almost 7 years and hoping that someday you would love me as much as you loved the man who was assumed dead.

Now, suddenly he has risen from the sleeping memories, from the graveyard of the past, that appears to claim him in the present. It surely is your joy and that undoubtedly is the reason for my hopes to die with your every look of indifference and your cold heartedness.

Yet, I do not know why, I want to believe that you would love me someday, the way you love him.

Someday I hope you will!"

His pain was spilling through all his words, his desperation to seek from me what I always was desperately seeking from the man who disappeared, and then died suddenly. And since then I have hated anything and everything that happens suddenly.

But you cannot wrestle with destiny. Because wrestling with destiny is like a dead body wishing to be offered a decent burial without the undertaker. Now that is impossible. And I too was hoping for the impossible, when suddenly, I met Zack and I suddenly fell in love.

At least that is how I felt then. At that moment.

Then suddenly we got married, and suddenly I realised I missed him. Yes, the one who vanished suddenly and then died suddenly as well.

And today when Zack said these words, I suddenly felt I have been vicious towards him and he has suffered immensely due to my indifference towards him. An indifference that is not a wilful output of my mind, but a consequence of the battle between my heart and my mind, where the heart always appears to win.

Although Zack is a charming and very sensitive person, any woman would consider herself to be lucky to have a companion like him. But, there is another aspect to the reality of true love. Once you fall in love, your mind seems to remember the rhythm of heart beats it created when you truly fell in love. And that sensation lies with you forever. I think it even accompanies you in your grave.

It has been so in my case too; and Zack has suffered only because he has been too decent and too patient.

But my poor heart somehow cannot compose any new rhythm of heart beats, it still loves the symphony that it experienced when I first fell in love with him, and that was not sudden.The feeling seeped into me gradually over the period of time. Although he had grabbed my attention the very first time I saw him.

However, after he vanished, and everyone said he must have died, everything in my life has been happening suddenly. The events unfold so suddenly that I feel I have become the dear-most darling of suddenness.

And here I am dealing with the reproaching words of Zack, almost suddenly; and now I need to give him an answer. And when it comes to this, I will try my best not to be sudden, because then I might become the only person living on our planet, who invented a tragedy and then cast herself into it too suddenly.

My struggle though has always been my inability to deal with something that has to do with the person I loved very deeply and then he vanished. I waited for him patiently, but then everyone made me believe he was dead. During this sad phase of my life I met Zack, and he has been extremely patient with me. And due to this quality of his, I owe him a lot. He made me dream again, hope again and most important of all, he made me believe that I can live again, if not love the same way again or feel loved the same way again.