Roseanne
I slot my key into the lock at the service entrance of 3 In Coach and push the heavy steel door into the shadows of the corridor. When I slip it into my pocket, I keep my hand around the cool metal. Aside from the one to Hyeri's apartment, I've never had someone else's key before. Knowing how much the restaurant means to Lisa and her brothers, the ridged metal feels sacred to me. I like to hold it against my palm, to know that I mean something to Lisa too, enough that she wants me to share this place with her.
I know Lisa has been incredibly stressed with everything going on. I've felt her close down from time to time, and whenever I questioned her on it, she said she just wanted to leave the problems at work and forget about them for a while. That made sense, and I've tried to create the same safe place for her that she's always made for me. Our own little realm where the outside world disappears for a while. But this morning was the first time I felt the picture shift in a way that had my guts twisting and my heart crawling into my throat. Until now, I'd not asked myself if the burden that weighs her down is me.
I have to keep reminding myself to take her for her word, that she didn't mean it that way, even though my insecurities keep rattling around in my head like insects pinging against panes of glass. If she said I'm not a burden, then she's being honest... right? We all say things we don't mean. It will just take a day or two to shake it, and things will get better once Butcher & Blackbird is fully up and running.
I press the key tighter in my palm. It's proof. She and I are not temporary. Our circumstances are, and they'll pass in time.
"Lisa," I call out as I near the kitchen. "I found this place online that looks pretty cool, with a rooftop patio. Maybe we could..."
My voice trails off as I enter the room.
Lisa is standing with her hands braced against the edge of the stainless steel prep counter, her shoulders tense, her head bent. When her gaze collides with mine, it's wracked with darkness and defeat.
"What's wrong...?" I ask as I slow to a stop and take her in. My heart surges with worry. Every spark of intuition tells me everything about this is very wrong. "Did something happen with the restaurant? Are you okay?"
I start to approach her, my hand raised to touch her arm, but she straightens abruptly and backs out of reach. My feet halt instantly. My heart rate doubles.
"Are you okay?" I ask again.
Her voice holds no kindness, no warmth, not even familiarity when she says, "No, Roseanne. I am not okay."
My throat collapses around the words I want to say. Heat erupts beneath my skin, burning every inch of me from the inside out. My gaze bounds between the confines of Lisa's dark, sharp stare, its edges bordering on lethal. "What's going on?"
"What's going on is that you need to go home."
"Okay... I'll just get an Uber-"
"No. To Raleigh. You need to go back where you belong."
"I don't..." a sudden burst of emotion chokes my throat. My nose burns. A sting floods my eyes. "I don't understand."
Lisa drags a hand through her hair and breaks her gaze away before she takes another step backward, clearly agitated that I'm lingering here. I'm desperate to take a step closer, to just touch her and make whatever this is stop before it all disintegrates in my hand like a castle of sand swept out to sea.
"Did I do something? If I did something, you need to tell me. We can talk it through."
She pinches the bridge of her nose as a frustrated sigh empties from her lungs. "You didn't do anything Roseanne, this just isn't fucking working. And I need you to go."
