Beyond Sight

Trapped

July 19, 2008

It's late and I don't have much candle light to write with, but I will write anyway. Mother has been quiet lately. She usually keeps her distance anyways, but now she doesn't speak. It has been days since she has said a word except for the usual 'Jo stay inside today'.

The thing is that I am always inside. Maybe once I have seen color besides brown and black. And maybe twice I have seen myself in a reflection. Mother always tells me that she can see me so why should I need to see myself.

I usually don't mind that, but lately I have been more curious than ever because I saw outside. Only a small bit of something. I don't know the color because Mother would never teach me of the outside world.

The color was wonderful. It was bright and it looked small, but I can't think of words to describe it. I wish I knew how to think and say things to describe and tell. Mother would be furious if she knew what I saw. Maybe that's what I liked about it. I liked that she didn't know.

July 21, 2008

I couldn't write last night. Mother stood in the hallway for most of the night. She has been doing that a lot lately. I think she might be suspicious of me staying up late. She also doesn't know I write in this journal. I found in the basement where I am usually not allowed to go because there are private things of Mother's that I can't see.

She keeps to herself and only cares for me when I am hungry. She brings food in once a week, but she never eats it herself. I have never seen her even touch food. She only brings bread and some vegetables. I don't know what vegetables they are because Mother would never tell me. She says they are good for me and I shouldn't question it.

But I want to know. I want to learn, but she would do something horrible to me if I asked. She has done this horrible thing to me once before and I am never going to forget. I never want it to happen again.