Solace

•1•

Breath. One breath is all it took.

One breath is all it took to keep living. Every breath resets your timer of life.

But who knew it would be beyond exhausting.

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Jonathan wasn't a rebellious type. He preferred to be invisible. A ghost, so to say.

He never spoke unless he was talked to, and always avoided conflicts or arguments no matter what.

He was a realist in its true form.

But what was a teenager without their "horns" right?

Jonathan suffered. He suffered a lot ever since his early childhood. He suffered from all kinds of abuse.

He wasn't the most stable person in the crowd. He had severe anxiety. Undiagnosed ADHD, mild OCD and depression on top of that.
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Friday, 18:30

Jonathan had came home from school almost two hours ago. He looked like a mess.

His white hair was messy and frizzy. He hadn't bothered to fix it.

His clothes were disheveled, making him look like he'd ran a marathon.

His old scuffed sneakers were dirty and the soles were slowly but surely peeling off after being stuck back together by an unnecessarily large amount of superglue.

He valued those sneakers like gold. He felt too attached to them, to toss them out and get a new pair.

But now he was just lazily laying in his bed, playing games or checking his social media, like each time he did so, something would change.

Suddenly he had a call incoming. It was from his best friend Nova. He sighed and pressed decline and instantly sent a message to her.

"Can't talk. I'm busy."

LIE

Jonathan had lied to his best friend.

He felt lonely, yet he pushed everyone away. He didn't know what made him do that. He just did it, over and over again.

Nova was the closest person that Jonathan had. He considered her as his sister by choice.

Yet he felt lonely even with having someone so close.

Nova had a boyfriend. They were together for a few months already and she said it was getting serious.

Jonathan felt jealous in a way, because all Nova did talk about, was her new boyfriend whenever they would hang out, on the rare occasion.

He hated that they had grown apart, yet he didn't want to say anything to her, afraid that he'll look clingy. He also didn't want to ruin their relationship.

He knew that Nova deserved happiness. He knew that she was bound to find her love. Yet Jonathan still felt terrible that it had happened.

Jonathan himself had no partner. He often claimed that he didn't need one, telling Nova that he loved the freedom.

Yet inside he was just longing for someone to call his own. For someone whom he could turn to when things went south.

All his peers and close people he knew, already seemed to be coupled up. He felt excluded, feeling like a third wheel no matter who he was around.

Yet he put on a brave smile and went on about his day. He didn't want people to think that he was ill ot anything.

Another call. Nova.

Jonathan picked up this time.

"Hey Jon. You free? I was wondering if you wanted to hang out."

"I'll ask parents. One second."

Jonathan said as he tossed his phone onto his bed and left his bedroom, trudging down the stairs to find his parents to ask them for permission.

It wasn't that he wasn't allowed to go anywhere. He just had the irrational need to ask his parents every single damn time.

After getting his answer, he went back to his room, plopping down onto the couch and picking the phone back up, to his ear.

"I'm gettin' dressed. You should too."

"Sweet. See you in a bit."

"See you."

Jonathan said, hanging up the call and then groaning. He already felt mentally exhausted.

Yet he still got up and began getting dressed. He grabbed his stuff and went outside to go to Nova's house to hang out.

On the way there, he was already preparing to put up a front of happiness and energy.