Forbidden Afflictions // Alfie Solomons Peaky Blinders

(16) The Bottom of the Bottle

Write drunk and edit sober, right? So fuck it. Why not make it topical? 

As a side note, I again apologize for the pacing conflict. I promise to go back through at a later date and make corrections—much, much love.

-V

Leaving Polly's place, a gloom followed her. She felt relieved to have seen her—to be back home—but miraculously, it felt as if someone had taken wire and strung her chest tight in an unmanageable knot. It was hard to breathe without wanting to cry and yet the contents of her worries felt emptied. It was indescribable how it felt to have left Polly in such a state.

On the drive back to the Confessional, Freya kept thinking about Polly and how she should have stayed. Despite the intrusion, the conflict of interest, and the personal dissatisfaction of being away from the one place she actually felt safe, she left. She went against everything in her body and she left.

She anticipated the retribution she would face for stealing Samuel's car keys and she anticipated even more harsh words from Alfie when she got back to Camden; if she ever got back. 

When she came back to The Confessional, she didn't want to leave the car but she knew she would need to at some point. She knew whatever lay behind the front doors was bound to be trouble. She didn't want to hurt Samuel and she didn't want to make it seem like he didn't do his job... but she just knew how to do her job better. 

He was bound for trouble with Alfie on his own, regardless of how the day went. Now that she ran off and made Samuel's job all the more difficult, she didn't need to be in the livewire between them when Alfie and Samuel spoke. She already knew what precautions Alfie must have set before Samuel was assigned to be with her. Now she just needed to face the consequences of her actions.

She readied herself and tried her best not to think about Polly and how depressed she had been since she last saw her. The last thing she needed on her mind was all the cocaine and lack of sleep her aunt surrounded herself with. She had enough with her own coping. Now, it felt wrong to leave Polly in the same situation Freya was only just stepping out of. 

However, time was not her friend. She hadn't the time to spend the night. She had someone to go home with. She was keeping someone from their usual duties back home. She had a foreigner; another Jew to protect. 

She put on a fake face of nonchalant confidence and finally willed herself inside. 

As unexpected as an expectation can go, Freya wasn't entirely surprised to find Samuel pressed against a wall with a glass of water in his hand. She wanted to believe he was sobering himself up to drive, but unfortunately, there was more to his antics. 

His eyes didn't seem to have been anywhere but the door and they made her stomach do flips as if she were facing a school teacher after cheating on an exam. 

She smiled timidly, hoping to break his angry stare but failed. Her smile faded as she took a deep breath and stood before him with the key at the center of her palm. 

He wasn't like she thought he would be. He was in a way Freya had never seen before. Perhaps it was the strong-willed, stubborn, hard-headed, arrogant, idiotic, testosterone-soaked, piss-taking manner of her brothers that conflicted her, but never once had she ever faced an angry man who had no words. He seemed to boil just at his rim without a drop of overflow. He kept it all to himself and his controlled fit of rage made Freya even more apprehensive than when she first walked through the door. 

They ended up in the car and on the way back to Camden without much said. Samuel didn't seem quite as assertive as Freya imagined due to his obedience, but the man knew how to stand his ground. He understood fear and knew what kind of fear Freya held over him, but he didn't flinch not once when he insisted she never runs off like that again.