Beyond Sight

Wonder

July 25, 2008

Mother isn't saying anything. She just stares at me with her dark gray eyes. They are almost black. I never make eye contact with her, but lately I have been a lot. She just walks around and sometimes she even leaves the house which she has never done before.

I am starting to hear things. Sometimes I hear a high pitched sound coming from outside this dark house. It sounds almost like a different language. Then whatever it is almost seems to fly away with its noise.

When Mother goes out I want to go with her, but she tells me it is too dangerous. Why should she care about me? She is cruel to me at times. She has never even touched me once. Never has she held my hand or stroked my hair.

I feel alone. She knows how I feel and doesn't care. She keeps me hidden away. I feel contained. I wonder if there is anyone else out there?

July 28, 2008

I don't really know why I write these numbers and letters at the top of every page. There is this book Mother put on the wall that has boxes with numbers in them with a certain word at the top of the page. Like for awhile it has said that word, July. The boxes stop at 31.

It is strange, but I like it. I ask Mother about it, but she just stares at me. I sometimes lose track of the day. Sometimes when I hear voices outside I hear about this thing called time. And the voices say they always lose track of it.

I once said to Mother that I lost track of time today. She asked me where I heard that and I told her the voices outside. She was furious. She told the voices were evil and wanted to fill me with lies. I cried and never spoke to her about it again. I am worried these voices will get to me and I will be evil too.