Philasande & Mabalwa {UNEDITED}

Our Love:Mabalwa & Philasande 16

Chapter 26

Mabalwa

"nom'izitha zami zingaka kani ngo'bekezela
ngobekezela"
I sing as I exit my ancestral shrine,i feel lighter, it's been a tough year but there's nothing that could ever take me down for too long.
Myself and Philasande reached our breaking points soon after the cleansing of our miscarriage and we just couldn't take it so we separated, we've been separated for a year now and it was hard but life had to move on especially because I had neglected my ancestors for too long bese kuba ngathi beng shaywa yi'dlozi impela I've been managing myself between my career and my ancestors,i needed some sort of awakening so I quit the life of being an air hostess let me tell you?i don't even feel the difference idlozi lam liyang sebenzela,I will never go poor.
It's new years eve and i'm going to a new years braai at Phiwa and Olothando's home, I've been invited so I decided why not and I know the consequences of this night but wherever my God and Ancestors lead,i will go.
i enter the house and I find my mother in her designer sleep wear drinking cuppacino
"Sawubona ma"(morning)
"Baba,how are you my dear?"
"I'm well ma"
"Ubuya endumbeni?"(you come from you shrine?)
"Eyah,kuhle emakhosini"(yes,all is well with the great ones)
"Siyabonga bo gogo nabo mkhulu,thokozani"(thank you great ancestors, thanks to thee)
And I respond to that with my hands appeasing clap
"So usaya ko Gumede namhla?"(you still going to the Gumede event)
"I am,I'm just anxious you know mama i expected atleast a sign of caution from my ancestors but nothing even though I did dream that he'd moved on already"
"How do you feel?"
"I'm disheartened of course but it's okay,i guess that's not where happiness is for me" i say this with tears in my eyes
"Oh my baby"
My mom instantly gets up to give me a hug.

I honestly didn't know how I feel until now,it makes me so sad to know that he maybe moved on for real,i thought we had something solid going for us ,i thought what we shared would keep him from moving on but clearly not.

18:30pm
I get up from my bed and I clean my room , get in the shower do my routine,I even shaved.
Pulled out my white t-shirt with a pocket on the left , blue 90s mom jeans and some gold Cartier jewelry,white Air-force1 and my leather crop puffer jacket,my installation is still clean,I'm going natural today just a black lip liner and red matte lipstick.
I'm hot.
In my LV bag I pack my power bank,cable ,gloss, tissue,body mist and my mint bubble gum but not before pooping one in my mouth and spraying awhole lot of good girl perfume.
Today I'll be driving my x2 xdrive bmw.
I enter the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and I banana I find a sticky note on the fridge.
'going to CPT,don't disturb
xoxo mom and happy New year kid'
I'm stunned,all for a bf? can't even call him that, remember the restaurant hot old man,yeah him.
I set the alarm and I'm out the house.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I get to the gate and I ring the alarm and Olo opens up for me ,i drive in and guess who's here,I'm feeling emotionally taxed all of a sudden and I can feel his presence in the yard
"Bo gogo nabo mkhulu nawe mdali,ngipheni amandla"
I go out my car and I lock,i let myself in the house,yeah I'm a bit too familiar with this house.
with each step I take my heart feels heavier,i can't explain it but is my love for Philasande this overwhelming?
"Heyyy Family!!"
My tone overpowers what I'm feeling,I'm grateful.
"Sisi,ula nawe" says Zakhele
"In the flash, idlozi lithe angibe emagcekeni ko Gumede namhla!"
We laugh,hug ,greet and make intro jokes .
I feel him standing behind me and I turn
"Well...heyy there stranger"
"Hello baby momma" i laugh at that,I'm grateful he's not awkward
"Unjani Phila?"
"Ngiya'phila muhleza,unjani wena?
"I'm awesome." You lying Mabalwa,wtf??i reprimand myself.
Soon after my first drink and being served food I feel another presence I know it's his new love interest wow I guess they serious to a point he'd want to introduce her to his siblings, heavy presence so much that it makes me want to go into trans but I'm emotionally begging my ancestors not to do this to me tonight.
i get up and I go to the guest bedroom and I text Olo
'im not feeling ancestrally well,let me lie down wake me up before the count down'
I lay my head down and the images and scenes I get it my head don't do well with my soul.
Being umntwana we dlozi is difficult.