The way we left it

Chapter One

I couldn't focus, my brain felt like it was running 100 miles an hour. I could hear my friends try to calm me down but their voices got drowned out in my thoughts. I didn't like it having so many eyes on me, especially when I was like this. Everyone seemed to pity me since it happened, I've never liked the attention people gave me, it always made me feel like I was some sorta outside creature people have never seen. Most people liked attention, i'm not sure why though, it doesn't feel good it's like the monster in your closet that has 100 eyes staring at you. I gasped awake... wait I was in my bed, how was I in my bed? I kept my eyes closed not being used to the light yet, I heard my door creak open.

'Felicity, sweety? Are you up?" I heard my mom speak, every word coming closer as she walked to the side of my bed kneeling down on the side that I layed on.

I knuckled my eyes to look at her. "Kinda" I spoke in a rough tired voice, I was definitely not a morning person or wake up person you might you say. I didn't want to know but I asked anyway "What happened at school?"

"Well.." Mom acted like she was trying to find the right words, sometimes I wish dad were here he would have told me straight up. My dad was a very straightforward person while my mom was the kind of person to sugar coat everything. "Look, how about we talk about this another time?' She looked at me "Maybe when you have some food in your stomach?" I knew this was just her way of telling me she didn't want to talk about it.

"Yea, sure mom." I closed my eyes again, honestly I wasn't hungry- like at all, but I knew it would make upset if I didn't eat.

"Well what are you feeling for? Im think pizza, but what do you want?"

"Yea, pizza sound great mom. Just get whatever you want, i'm kinda tired anyway." I sat up a little bit holding my stuffed bear in my lap.

"Okay, well just remember you have a doctors appointment tomorrow. And I also found a lovely support group that Dr. Foulk recommended" Mom had a small smile on her face, she had always wanted me to go to a support group. I had always said no, I didn't want to have to talk to a group of strangers about my life. Plus they are always like 'This is your time, we are all here to listen and help you' -- like no thank you.

"Mom, you know I don't want a support group" I groaned looking at her with an 'i've told you this 1000 times face.'

"Look honey I know, but Dr. Foulk said this might be good for you, maybe even a way to make some friends. Who knows?" One thing about mom is she was VERY persistent.

"Fine, I will go to one meeting if you stop bothering me about it. Deal?" I looked at her, she had a huge grin on her face.

"Yea! Ok the first meeting is tomorrow afternoon, but for now i'm going to go order the pizza." Mom bounced up happily, closing the door as she left. I loved my mom I really really did but... she didn't get me. Not like dad did, dad understood the feeling of not wanting to have all eyes on me. He understood that I didn't want to do things because it made me feel like more of an outsider. He understood me.

I could smell the pizza mom got downstairs, so I lifted myself out of my blanket haven and made my way down. When I got downstairs I saw Sean (pronounced Shawn) as he always said. Mom always said Sean was a work friend but frankly I didn't believe her.

"There she is!" Sean said jumping up and giving me a side hug, Id never admit it but I kinda like Sean. Like hes a good guy, he's helped my mom and I so many times. Plus he makes mom happy so I can really not like him.

"Hey Felicity sweety?" I heard moms voice call out from the kitchen.

"Yea? Whats up mom?" I peeked my head from behind the door frame

"They sorta gave us the wrong pizza.." She turned her head to face me. This was typical of pizza places, at least for us.

"Sorta or they did?" I looked over at her.

"Okay so they did give us the wrong one, but I feel bad for eating it without you."

"It's fine mom" I said with a little hint of laughter in my voice "I would rather a sandwich anyway."  Mom nodded in defeat, "Okay, well Sean and I are gonna hangout down here and watch a movie. Just let me know if you need anything."

I nodded at her walking over to the pantry door, opening it I see that we definitely haven't gone grocery shopping in a while. I grabbed the whole grain bread and set it on the counter. I pulled out the mustard and mayo, not sure why people always hated on the two. To me they tasted good, so it was kinda whatever. I pulled out two pieces of bread from the bag and picked up a paper plate. I grabbed a butter knife and spread the mustard and mayo on either side, pulling out the ham from the fridge door I dropped the knife into the sink. I opened the cheese package and laid it on top of the mayo side and added the ham to the mustard side. That was the order I had always made it, dad used to make the best sandwiches ever. So who was I to change the order? I grabbed cheese ruffles and strawberries adding them to my plate. I put everything back and said goodnight to Sean and my mom walking upstairs.