Playboi's Bunny

34. Sahara

January 15, 2022

I've been waiting for someone like Zayne my whole life.

Somebody who gets me, respects me, wants me, craves me, trusts me, and just loves me. Someone who can talk their shit and back it up too. Somebody that's gon' ride for me the way imma ride for them.

In my past relationships, I was never able to be myself fully. I always had to play the role of a down bitch without showing my soft side 'cause niggas can't handle that without it being an issue.

It ain't like that with Zayne tho. She sees me for me, every part of me, even the soft and sensitive sides that I hide.

When I first met her, the way she had my stomach full of butterflies over asking for my number should've told me I would have it bad for her.

Now, it hasn't been 3 months and I'd give my life for hers, my feelings are so strong. Which is why I'm so torn 'cause I know I gotta handle my shit.

But the thought of leaving her behind or her getting shot again, got me in my feelings. Lately, I can barely go a few hours without Zayne, so I can't wrap my head around the thought of never being able to see her again all over a bad decision to go back to the States while shit is still hot.

I grab the burner phone from one of my bags and turn it on as I listen to Zayne and Playboi sleep soundly on the other side of the room. Quietly, I slip on a T-shirt and walk out the bedroom.

The moon meets me on the deck of the yacht as I scroll for the phone number I'm looking for. When I see my cousin, Shardonay's number, I bite the inside of my cheek and sigh loudly.

If I make this call, it ain't no going back and I know that. But Santana gon' get what's coming to her, even if it kills me.

"Yeah." Nay answers on the second ring like I knew she would.

We've been locked in since we did time together and stayed solid, almost seven years ago so I know I can count on her. Plus, she's my blood and if don't nobody else understand why I feel the way I do towards my sister, my cousin does.

"Where you at? What's the word over there?"

"I'm up the way. Face card ain't what it was out here no more, fam." Hearing her words makes me hold my head in my hands, frustrated.

I pick the phone back up and focus my emotions on any and everything that ain't my fucked up family in AZ.

"What they talkin' 'bout?"

"Got 250 G's on yo head with a green light."

"Who put the word out? Pops or sis?" Everything in me knows my sister was the one who set everything up to get me out the picture for good.

"Pops."

My stomach drops deep into the ocean but I keep myself level headed for now. After everything I did for my sister, brother and dad, how the fuck could he put money on my head?

I'm the one who built my mom's empire up the way it is now!

I'm sick as a bitch, yo.