Blessed just to know you

Dan is getting worse

Dan is getting bad again but this time it's worse than ever before. I knew we was depressed, but I never thought that I would see him on the bathroom floor in a pool of his own blood and a razor in his hand. I didn't know what to do so I called the hospital. How was I suppose to know that he would be ripped from my hands and to a treatment center ? Nothing was worse that his eyes before they put him in the ambulance he looked so hurt and scared and worse of all angry. I have never seen him ever mad at me before and now I see the fury eyes. When he was token away I didn't follow because I knew I would just make it worse. so I did what I always do when he leaves for something.I just laid in his bed with his jacket on and cried all night, wishing for dan to be right besides me and to make me feel happy. I never realized while he was making so happy I wasn't holding my end of the bargain and let him slip from my finger tips. I will never forgive myself for my selfish mistakes. "I will never forgive myself " I whispered as I slipped to a restless sleep.