The Beginning: Chapter 1

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It feels as though my mind is slowly withering away. Hammered to pieces until my memories are erased, bit by bit. These voices of which surround me in the emptiness of the darkness I now live in, I do not recognize. They'll sing their sweet cries and prayers to me, day in and day out, but recently, only one voice has come to my side. They have a low, sorrowful voice, and it almost makes me pity the fool who holds my hand and sobs by my unconscious body. I know not who the man is, but then again, I do not recognize anyone who comes to see me. Time slips from the grasp of my fingers, and the visitors are only sealing themselves the same fate as they stick by me. In this state, I'm not truly alive, nor am I dead. I'm confined to this hospital bed, unable to awake from this haze. I've come to accept this reality of shadows and cries, where I'm surrounded by nothing but tears and sadness, their owners clutching onto a shroud of false hope. The light of the outside world has ceased to visit me in my dreams, as I slowly forget it just as I have everything else.

Just as any other regular motionless night, the weeps echo in my ears as the man's hand clings onto my own. However, all of a sudden, his grip loosens, and his whimpers falter as I sense another presence enter the dark room. The sound of the new visitor's footsteps clacking against the floor approaches. Once they stop by my side, I see an unfamiliar light, a blinding red as it illuminates the isolation from the starry night outside. I hear a thud as something collapses to the ground, following it is a loud crash. The light fades as everything returns back to its original state; pitch black. The sound of heavy breathing no longer remains, my hand being abandoned. That touch is replaced as a cold hand grazes my forehead, its fingers gliding across my skin gently like a caress. The touch is unfamiliar to me and sends shivers down my spine. It feels as though a corpse is touching me, the icy lifeless touch triggering such a thought. The hand moves to the side of my head, brushing hair from my face that I was unaware was even there. I feel lips being placed on my forehead, gently kissing it. Suddenly, I jolt awake, as if awaking from a bad dream. I hastily jerk my head in all directions, but I see no one there. The sun rays of morning shine in through the curtains.

Just then, a doctor enters the room, interrupting me in my confusion. Her eyes widen as she sees me, finally awake. Judging by her hesitation, I can tell she notices my panicked expression. She must only be an assistant because I see her immediately call for other doctors. The rest is a blur for me. Everything still feels hazy as they do tests on me, checking my senses and such. It feels like everything is passing by in a blink of the eye as I continue my attempts to wrap my mind around what happened. What did happen..? I feel the vague and somehow distant memory slipping from me just as everything else has, no matter how hard I try to clutch onto it.

Some time later, a woman rushes into the room and stops at the doorway, looking at me teary-eyed. I remain with a blank expression, wondering who this woman is as she embraces me. Slowly and hesitantly, I wrap my arms around her back as she bawls on my shoulder, as if it's a natural reaction of mine. I feel a familiar warmth of comfort with this woman in my arms, yet at the same time still feel a great sense of confusion. I close my eyes and rest my head on her shoulder, and eventually, she pulls away, wiping her tears.

"Thank goodness you're awake, Sitara," the woman speaks breathlessly, an unmistakable smile on her lips as they quiver.

"Sitara... is that my name?" I speak, my voice so hearse it barely counts as a whisper. I turn my full attention towards her, looking for answers I can not form on my own in this current state. Her expression of relief is replaced with concern and worry. She nods.

"Yes..." she pauses, taking in a sharp breath, but forces a smile regardless and leans in a bit closer to me. "Do you remember who I am, sweetie..?" She sounds devastated, which breaks my heart. I simply shake my head, and I can tell such a realization as this hits her like a wall of bricks as an expression of dejection overrides her face. My face softens at the sight, feeling an intense ripping in my heart as I am filled with regret and guilt for reasons I do not know. I feel an urge to remember her, like it's on the tip of my tongue, but I just can't recall the memories that have been stripped from me in my time of stupor.

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⏰ Last updated: Dec 03, 2023 ⏰

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