the world is ugly

I think they found me again.

I think they found me again. Look, I'm tired of being told told its my 'wild imagination", "Making stuff up", and all those lies they all said. its real, and its taken me too long to realise. Too long. Hey, I don't want any of this to be real either but I need to come to terms with it somehow.

Now here I am, blasting my chem through my ears, full volume but I don't care about the tinnitus I'll get for later. I'm finally by myself now. As much as I love playing with Titan, playing with a hyperactive part jack Russel when on the verge of a burnout isn't too easy.

I decided to get my old diaries out from when i was around 10 to 12. I wrote non stop. About what I had for breakfast, how school was, my taylor swift obsession, the girl who made realise I was gay...yeah, you get the idea. I lost motivation when I moved here, but I write in every so often when I have the motivation.

Everythings in here, from when I was a happy 11 year old without a care in the world, to well, whatever has happened since then. I've noticed a lot more since then about the world around me,  good or bad, I'm not too sure myself. When secondary school hit, I guess thats when it started. But hey, who needs another sad sob story to hear?

I swore I saw it. All of it. The half woman half bird (which I learnt was something called a harpy when we were learning about mytholigy in school onetime) to last week when what I thought was a cute cat, morphed into a chimera- yeah, those lion snake things from those old greek stories.

Well, call me crazy, but I think those myths are true.  My nan and grandad, my  foster carers over the years, always said I was a great story teller, I had an active imagination, whatever they ment. But it was always more. Seriously, these "stories" got my grandparents losing hope for me having a good life when I was only 5 or however old I was. I obviously cant remember much from that age, but what I do remember is feeling so fustrated and lost when I finally realised that no one will listen. I swore it was real. I still do. I know it is. I just know.

I havent thought about it in a long time, I guess I forgot, well tried too. I still feel that disappointment gut feeling from when I realised no one would believe me. Well, I know one person would. I mean, if it wasn't for that boy I think I'd be dead. Nico, I think his name was. I mean It could have been anything, my minds been a bit blurry since then.

it was early september, the vibrants of the summer were slowly draining out, but the autumn colours still weren't ready to fully come out yet. It was warm enough to go outside without a coat, but my nan insisted i wore one. patterend with ducks and rain drops, adorable, but I still argued not to wear it. My nan won in the end so I left to the garden to play, sulking.

I always knew I shouldn't, but I played in the woods that surrounded my nan and grandads. It was too big for a kid of 7 years to play by theirself without getting lost, but I did not care. I was free. Playing make believe sheltered by oak trees I couldn't even see the height of, felt safe and assuring. I was alone, only me and my imaginary freinds, and the few thousand trees to look out for me.

Remember when I said I was alone? Well, that day was the only exeption. I was pretending I was a hero on some big quest and a cool girl best freind to accompany me whilst we run away from a half bull man thing. You could say that wasn't the only half human half animal thing I saw that day. I was spriniting as fast as ever, until I was stopped in my track by a...chicken?

No, it was a girl too. Both of the sorts you could say. Most kids would have been freaked out, but, like the strange girl I was, I tried to hug it. I should have known better, I guess this was the moment I learnt to not be too curious. Whats that saying, curiosity killed the cat? I don't get sayings, but you could say that was me that day.

I think the chicken girl wanted me to run away crying, not run towards and hug. It was so pissed off by that and the next thing I knew I was mid air, with the chicken girl's talons digging into my shoulders. Screaming, crying for help, but no one was there to listen to my cries. The hero I dreamed to be in those daydreams had turned into a damsel in distress too fast to contend.

I didn't have much thoughts, well probably AHHHH or something like that. I just guessed it was the end for me. I remember the chicken girl trying to rip me apart with those massive talons, until something caught her eye. A dark, gloomy shadow emerged from the trees. To an outsider, it probably looked like the branches were making shadows, but to me and her we knew it was something else. Good or bad we couldn't be too sure.

A boy walked out of the shadows, I can't remember how old he was but to a young kid, probably a big boy or whatever. He Stared at us, like seeing a chicken woman trying to brutally murder a young child was a part of his everyday life. He sighed, taking out an iron noir sword, charging to the chicken woman, and well....I'm not too sure what happened after, I just remember waking up next to him, feeling frail and weak with a huge gash on my shoulder.

I looked up at him, thinking he was the coolest guy ever. He was wearing all black, with a skull ring accompanying his finger. He wore a shirt with a black skull on (I'm guessing he's very into skeletons, and I don't blame him I mean this is coming from me, my favourite album literally being the black parade) with ripped black jeans with a belt chain on the side. I thought to myself "woah, he's so cool I'm gonna look like that when I'm older". As scared and puzzled as I felt, I couldn't not admire how badass he looked.

"Hey, you've been knocked out for quite a while, how are you feeling?" He smiled warmly, wanting to make sure the girl he only knew for...well however long I was nonconcious for was.

"Uh, weird?" I replied back, looking as confused as ever.

"I was playing, then a chicken woman tired to eat me"

He smiled again, wanting me to feel safe and comfortable after nearly meeting death from chicken woman.

"Yeah, that must have been pretty scary for you. You must be someone like me, and thats okay. You got some pretty nasty cuts from that. But, your healing okay, your safe now and that's all that matters. Whats your name, by the way? I'm nico."

"I'm Everlyn, but I like it when people call me Evers, coz I think its cool. Your really cool" I stammered, wanting to hear whatever he has to say back.

He laughed lightly, finding it adorable how I don't even properly know him but see him as the coolest guy ever.

"Thank you, your pretty cool yourself, Evers. Now, is your family nearby? Or are you lost?"

He stared at me with a reassuring look. He radiated cold energy, but not in a mean way, more like when its late December, wearing some sort of fluffy jumper next to a fireplace, drinking hot chocolate, watching the snow lay itself on the frozen outside winter world.

"Er, my nan and grandad live round here, but I'm not sure where" I more answered like I was answering a tricky trivia question, but I could tell whatever I answered with he wouldn't mind.

"Thats okay, we'll get you there soon, don't worry, your safe now."
He smiled to me, standing up and letting me take his arm to get up. Nothing else mattered, I felt trusted and safe. I knew I could be my weird self around him, and he would not care one bit.

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THANK YOU FOR READING!!!!
I've been meaning to write this for months. I came up with the idea after a sick day from school, and I've finally had the motivation to write.
This is my first ever story, so thank you so much for reading all of this. If you have anything to add, please do, this is my first ever story I've uploaded here, so I'm kinda nervous. But hey, I'm happy I've finally done this.