I wish I hated you

One.

Olivia LaBella
He didn't get to do this to me. Not again. God, I hated when he did this. I've known him my whole life and I'm constantly coming in 2nd. Even when we dated we would go to prom and everyone would say "Wow Jack's so hot who's that girl he's with" I was a nobody. He was the only person who made me feel like I was somebody. So when we broke up I was crushed I didn't eat for months and when I finally began eating I would find happiness in the bottom of a toilet bowl. He's not a bad guy i know he's not. I would never dream of claiming he was. But the whole reason we broke up was because we needed space from each other. 17 years of growing up next to each other, being best friends turned boyfriend and girlfriend. Having everyone fawn over the star quarterback, our parents practically planned our wedding from age 4. So when he committed to Tennessee University for D1 football it broke my heart. But I knew it was the right thing to do, however, today as I was swiping through Instagram I saw an announcement saying that the great Jack Carter will be transferring to Alabama for his sophomore stating it was "his dream school" I call bullshit. It wasn't his dream school it was mine and I was finally happy at a place where people knew me for me.

I should probably give you all some kind of context.

Me and Jack lived next to each other for YEARS in Biltmore Forest North Carolina. Our moms were sorority sisters in Alabama and our Dads owned multiple restaurants together. So our futures had been destined to intertwine. I had never really found him attractive until one day it of no wear he reached 6ft 4, his blonde hair got a bit darker, his eyes a lot bluer, and his muscles a lot bigger. We started dating going into sophomore year, before then I wasn't a geek or anything but I definitely wasn't popular, however over night I was the queen of the school. Everyone wanted to be my friend, everyone wanted to have me over. and that was all because of Jack, in a weird way it made me really dependent on him, like he had to power to build me up or tear me down whenever he wanted. jack was a star football player, he was the starting quarterback on varsity since freshmen year and had scouts calling him since the first day the rules would allow. his dream was to play college football at Tenessesse whilst mine was to go to Alabama, maybe be a cheerleader, just like my mom. When he got the call that Tennessee wanted him I was right next to him sitting on the daybed in the library of his house, he jumped up and ran around like a little boy. While I was so happy for him that I was about to burst, I couldn't help but know that this was the beginning of our end. Everyone at school loved and revered him even more after that, something that I had no clue was possible, and then just like that, we were done. I remember it like it was yesterday. It was the day after the senior formal and our group was returning home on a party bus from a house we had rented about 45 minutes away. We sat in the back and the entire week I knew something was going on, he barely looked at me. I felt disgusting. at our pre-pics, he squeezed my side and gave me a disgusted look. I felt like a whale. all of a sudden he took one of my AirPods out and said "I think we need to end it, we still have a few months before we go to college, what's the point of keeping this up when it'll just end in heartbreak liv?" and that's the last day I felt real. We agreed to stay "friends" but we both knew we wouldn't. Dates on Sundays turned into us running into our houses whenever we saw each other outside. Tuesday combined family dinners turned into his parents coming to my house without him or mine going to his without me. Just like that, my perfect world was gone. My perfect friends. My perfect boy.

The only thing I got out of it was an eating disorder and a determination to make my years at bama the best ones ever. I wasn't going to let him ruin me. I rushed and got into my mom's sorority, i had great friends and was pretty popular. and I even met a boy who was slowly but surely putting me back together. life was good, well life until I opened Instagram today.