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。・* ; Little • Seungmin 。・* ; Caregivers • Minho
˚ ༘☆ ⋆｡˚ TW : mentions of body image and weight loss & calories ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー
3 weeks. 3 weeks and Seungmin still hasn't lost any weight. The comeback is next week and he doesn't look any better than he was before. He stares in the mirror in front of him, disgusted by what's reflected back. His stomach is too big, his face looks even chubbier, his arms are like sticks, his legs are the opposite of pretty.
"Lose weight" "You would look better if..." "Ugly" " Weirdo"
They surround his head without any end. It just lurks around, repeating itself every single second and Seungmin hates it. They get so loud sometimes that he can't focus on anything else and he can't do anything about it because nobody knows about it. 。。。 "1,2,3,4,1,2–" Minho repeats as he guides the members through the choreography. As soon as they've gone through it at least twice, Minho dismisses them to have a lunch break. All the members join up into pairs, chatting and some going out to eat. Seungmin drops onto his knees, breathing heavily as he tries to catch his breath after the intense choreo. God, that dance would be intense enough to make him faint.
Minho walks up to Seungmin and crouches beside him. "You okay?" Minho asks, a slight bit worried about Seungmin. The younger just nods, panting.
"Y–yeah. I'm fine, hyung," Seungmin pants, coughing a bit by how dry his throat has gotten after inhaling so deeply.
"Oh, okay. Well, do you want to go out to eat?" the elder requests. He was honestly starving and thirsty but he didn't want to go alone, imagine how awkward that would be.
His heart skips a beat. Lunch? Out? Eating? Food? Straight pass. He isn't hungry nor is he really thirsty. But he doesn't want Minho to be by himself does he? That would be selfish of him, but he really isn't —
"Sure, I don't mind," Seungmin agreed before even thinking it all through. Minho smiles at him as he took the brunette's hand, dragging him to a nearby restaurant. 。。。 Minho slurps on his noodles, groaning at the taste of it from time to time. Seungmin just sits opposite from him, only having a cup of water as ordered.
"These noodles are hella good you know, Min," the elder says as he slurps a bit more. 。。。 Seungmin is now at the gym, working on his abdomen. Sweat dripping down his flushed face. He's been at this for at least 5 hours now with only 2 15-minute breaks. Seungmin doubts he's going to end his workout session at this point ; he may as well make it go up to 8 hours despite how late it was right now. At the moment, he's burned around 563 calories. That wasn't enough for him. He continues to workout but deciding to double the original amount he was intending to do. Creak. Seungmin immediately slows down the treadmill as he looks towards the enterance. Chan comes in, huffing as he makes his way towards the younger. "It's 10pm, Seung. You do realise it's late at night? The members are worried about you, especially Minho," Chan says with a stern tone, arms crossed on his large chest. The younger turns off the machinery before sighing. "I know it's late at night, hyung. I'll–I'll go back to the dorms in a minute, hold on," the brunette huffs as he got off the treadmill and collected his belongings which were scattered all over a small corner of the gym floor. 。。。 The brunette sat on his messy bed, staring at the weighing scale in front of him.
57,8kg.
It isn't enough ; it's only a 5.2kg difference to how much he weighed before. It still isn't much of a difference. He still looks the same than how he looked before. He scratches his thighs harshly, tears stinging his eyes as they threaten to fall down. It's all useless ; he'll never change and will just stay the same boy he always was his entire life. Sobs break out from his trembling lips, tears now rolling down his cheeks without any sign of stopping. Seungmin brings his knees up to himself, making himself into the smallest ball humanly possible. The voices get louder, and louder, and louder. It becomes deafening at this point.
"Lose weight" "You can actually eat that much?" "Pig" "Eat less" "You'd look better if you were skinnier"
His tears stain his vision, making it blurry and hard to see. The edges of his mind become fuzzier every passing second. Wait what? No, he can't be slipping. Clenching and unclenching his hands, he helplessly lets out another broken sob. It alerts the whole dorm by how loud his cries were becoming.
Why can't he look like everybody else?
。。。
"Should somebody check on Seungmin? His crying is getting a bit...loud, I'm getting a bit more worried about him," Hyunjin says as he covers one of his ears. He loves his band members, truly, but if somebody was crying and having any negativity, he isn't the best person to choose for comfort. The members look around to eachother deciding on who should go. "I'll go," Minho states. He combs his fingers through his raven hair before making his way towards Seungmin's door. "Seungmin?" Minho calls, knocking on his door lightly. He listens out for a response, no response. Only broken shaky sobs and sniffles could be heard. "I'm gonna come in, okay?" Minho says before entering the bedroom and shutting the door behind him. Minho's heart immediately shatters into pieces : Seungmin was curled up into one of the corners of his bed, crying his poor heart out. The elder goes up to Seungmin, bringing Seungmin into his arms hushing him. Honestly, Seungmin didn't have the energy to try and move himself away so he clung onto Minho with his body limp. "What's wrong, Seung?" the raven asked. "Minnie too fat, don' like," the little hiccuped while agressively wiping some of his tears away. "Fat? Seung, who told you you're fat? You're perfectly fine!" Minho exclaimed. "Meanies on twitter.." Seung sniffled. Minho sighs. Of course he would've checked twitter. He always does. "Why can't Minnie 'ook pewfec' like hyungies?" Seungmin asks, looking at Minho desperately for an answer. There's always an answer for everything so there must be an answer for this. Minho immediately frowns, "Seung, you already are perfect. Why do you need to be even more perfect than you already are?" "Cus—cus meanies say so n' they right! And–and Minnie jealous..." the other replies. Minho can't help but pull Seungmin even closer to himself, stroking the back of his head in a soothing manner. He can't believe how broken Seungmin really was. "They're wrong, Min. They don't have anything better to do in their lives apart from lazing around and typing hateful words to entertain themselves. You don't need to be jealous, honestly. For me and the other members, we think you look absolutely perfect no matter what you look like at the end of the day," Minho whispers into Seungmin's ear. He could tell that the whispering was calming the younger down so he carried on until the younger ended up falling asleep on the elder's lap. The raven moved a hairstrand out of the brunette's teary face, kissing the top of his head, cradling him slightly. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that all, Seungmin-ah." ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー Idk lately I've been making some of the situations in my recent chapters based off of my emotions & experiences so I'm sorry if these recent chapters have been...something ('･_･') . I've just been a little, eh. Also sorry if I didn't add in any other TWs.
