"This is so stupid!" I thought to myself. "Would it be that bad if I just left? Like would that make me a terrible person? Its not like he knows who I am and can track me down and burn down my house. Yep that's it I'm leaving." I continued fighting with myself. And that's when I heard it. It seems so familiar but I couldn't quite place it at first, but then he touched me and I knew right away who it was. And I also knew my life, as I knew it, was completely and utterly destroyed.
Not let me just take you back to how this all started:
I had been living in London for around three years now. I also just happened to have the most amazing best friend in the world slash roommate. We meet after I had been here for a few weeks and walked into her father's bakery looking for a job from their Jaycie and I had been inseparable. So we moved into together started school, at this time we were both only 18, and carried on the way best friends do. But three years later she had somehow only now noticed that I didn't date. Not necessarily because I hadn't the option but much more because I just didn't want to. This explanation of my lack of love life did not abode well with Jayice so she insisted that I go on a blind date with, in her words, "literally the most perfect guy in the world" she had meet him in her calculus class at school and, again in her words, "If I didn't have Jason I would have ripped his clothes off right in front of the entire class", Jason being her boyfriend of a year and a half. After much badgering to "just take a risk in my life for once" I had succumb to the pressure and agreed to meet this guy.
Now back to my date:
"Quinn?" Hearing him call me that just felt so wrong and for the first time I felt like I did the wrong thing. But being the big girl I am I turned around and came face to face with those all to familiar eyes.
"Natalie?" He breathed out like it was some sort of secret. The shock on his face would have been hilarious if it hadn't of been for the sadness that shadowed it.
"In the flesh." I tried to joke but it sounded pathetic and apologetic. "Um, do you ah wanna sit down?" I stuttered my way through completely flustered to the gravity of this situation which was now fully sinking in.
"Um yeah." After that we both took a seat. I awkwardly fidgeted with the table cloth has he just started at me like he was looking a ghost. "What happened to you? We all thought you were dead!" He tried to keep himself from yelling once he had regained his composure.
"I know. I know. I'm sorry but I had to, you can't tell anyone you saw me. Honestly James you have to swear." He looked at me like I was on crack.
"Are you serious Natalie? You're kidding, right? Everyone back home has been a wreck trying to find you and you want me to keep the one thing that might bring some peace to their lives away from them? You're so selfish! You were here this whole time just living your life as if nothing happened as if-" I cut him off.
"Like nothing happened?!?!" At this point I was yelling too, " You think I don't think about that life everyday? That I don't think about everything I had to leave behind? I hated it! The whole situation sucked! I didn't have a viable second option. All I could do was leave or let it consume me and die there miserable. So yeah I'm sorry I made a choice that hurt your feelings, but you know what I'm not sorry for? Saving myself."
