I stood up and stormed off after that. I could not believe that was all he thought of me, just some selfish girl that ran away. I feel like I owe you an explanation on our past. So here goes. James and I grew up together in Atlanta,GA we were in school together and church group but we were never close friends or anything like that. We hung out together once in a blue moon and we had movie night with the kids from church but besides that it wasn't like we were texting each other and had the other on speed dial. Our friendship was a casual social nicety. But I was kind of in love with him. For years we flirted back and forth when we saw each other and we always were in physical contact when we were stand near one another, but nothing came of it. I left Atlanta when I turned 18. I got my high school degree told my parents and everyone around me I was starting at The University of Georgia in the fall and that I would see them all at Christmas. But I never applied to UG. I packed all my stuff got on a plane went to London, changed my name and phone number and never looked back. I left behind everyone and everything I couldn't bring on the plane or have shipped over. I didn't do it because I was just some kid that didn't want to handle adult responsibility I did it because I had to get out, I needed a fresh start and I couldn't have a past holding me to all my regrets, mistakes and memories. But then there was James.
Now back to the present, I started walking because I only lived like three blocks from the restaurant we meet up at. Half way home the clouds opened up a storm like no other. Which was absolutely perfect. So I started to run then I few steps in remembered I couldn't run to save my life so went back to just walking. When I finally reached mi casa I was soaked. I threw the door open and attacked the kitchen looking for goldfish or something to eat. Jaycie came out with a big smile on her face which dropped after seeing my clothes clinging to my body, and the scowl stuck to my face.
"What happened to you?" She asked.
"I really don't want to talk about it." Jaycie still didn't know about my past and in an ideal world it would stay that way forever.
"Okay so I take your date didn't go to awesome?"
"No. It did not. There is a reason I don't date and this is pretty much it. Every time ends in disaster." I said as I stripped out of my soaked skirt and top. "Please don't ever put me through that again."
"I'm sorry Quinn. He seemed like a really nice guy. Why are all the hot ones so bad!" The last part she cursed to the ceiling which made me laugh. "How about to make it up to you we watch 30 Rock all night and eat cheese cake?" This is absolutely why this girl is my best friend.
"Is that a serious question? Of course we are doing that!" That night we fell asleep surrounded by half eaten cheesecake bites and to the sound of Tracy Jordan's babbling.
The next morning when I woke up Jaycie was already gone for her first class. I rolled off the couch and found my way to the kitchen searching for something to eat. I heard the doorbell ring and turned towards it grabbing a box of fruit loops as I strolled over to the door. I opened the door and instantly regretted it, "Uggghhhhh" I moaned as I slammed the door in his stupid face.
"Open back up!" James yelled from the other side. "I know you're in there! Natalie! Open this door or so help me!!"
"Ya okay dad!" I replied as I kept walking away back to my room. I started brushing my teeth and when i looked up from spitting he was standing next to me. "O My-" I grabbed my chest " I think you just gave me a heart attack! How did you get in here!?" I yelled at his face as I was pushing him out of my bathroom door.
"Eagle Scout" He smirked, "Don't you remember?"
"I hate you ya know that?" I said getting right up in his face which was slightly difficult seeing as he was at least seven inches taller than me. It was then that I realized I was still in my pajama booty shorts and tank top. He looked me up and down as I did him. He was wearing jeans, a Beatles tee and a pair of black cons. His hair was disheveled and I was just seeing how really attractive he turned out to be. He had green eyes and brown hair and possible the most defined jaw I had seen in my life."Liking the view?" He taunted me. "Because I think I could get used to this."
"You're disgusting." I said as I turned on my heels to walk away but his big hands pulled me back until I hit a hard chest.
"Not so fast." He whispered in my ear, "I think you owe me some answers" I could help the way my body reacted to him. It was like when I was in highschool and I was getting flustered I turned around to look at him, still in his arms, when our fronts meet I was tight up against him with my hands on his toned arms. We stood like that for a second just looking at each other and i thought for a second he might kiss me but instead he let go and looked at the floor rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm serious you know. What happened? Why was Jaycie calling you Quinn?" I could feel the tears welling in my eyes. I didn't want to talk about it not now not ever.
"No." I said already feeling weak.
"What do you mean no? Natalie please! Give me something anything to try to wrap my head around this."
"Maybe it's not something you should know James."
"Not something I need to know? I have know you all my life I think I need to know what happened. I was there you could have come to me."
"You weren't there! You were a passerby in my life. As much as you would like to think you know me or knew me or whatever you don't and you didn't! I was by myself and that's how I left."
" You know what okay fine! Maybe you weren't who I thought you were and maybe we didn't talk all the time but I thought you could have trusted me! I would have listened I would have made time to have been there! I wanted to be there!" He yelled and I started to cry. " I would have done anything to be there to keep you in my life. Do you know how important you were to me?"
"You don't mean that. Its the guilt."
"No its not it's how I feel!"
"Then why didnt you say anything! You had eighteen years and you said nothing!"
"Because I was scared! Is that what you want? I was terrified of saying something stupid or you laughing in my face! You had money and the nice house and the clothes and the cars and you were beautiful and I mean so beautiful. Everyone knew it and I, I just didn't deserve you I had nothing to offer. I was just some kid, I was nothing."
"You were not nothing. You were popular and smart and athletic. You were incredible, James! Everyone loved you!"
"I didn't care about everyone. I cared about you. I wanted you to love me. I want you to love me!" He sounded so determined and then he looked at me like he needed me to breathe. He lunged at me and kissed me with so much ferocity his hand on the back of my head and his other on the side of my neck. His lips moved against might intensely and so smoothly I started to move with him and he tasted like mint and chocolate but the effect on my brain was like that of heroin. He hand started moving from my head down to the small of my back as he pulled me closer. He bit my lip asking for entrance which I granted, his tongue explored my mouth and it was like I could not get enough of him I needed more. But I knew I couldn't give into to him because I could never give him what he really wanted: My heart.
