The inner turmoil of a shapeshifting dragoness who is always happy. At least that's what everyone around her thinks. She helped save Kumandra from the Druun after all. What could she possibly be unhappy about?
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Art by Cammiko
While Sisu was always the happy go lucky and optimistic dragon that all of Kumandra knew and loved, there was a side of Sisu that she kept hidden away. Something that formed not long after the events that took place during her journey with Raya to fix the world. That thing, was a big well of regret, fueled by the trauma that was forced deep down caused by her death. Sisu had next to no ill will towards Namaari or Raya. To her, it was an accident that they had more more than made up for.
But it all still hurt. Whenever she thought about it, or looked at a crossbow being used by someone, she'd feel a sharp pain in her chest. It got so bad that one night that she cried herself to sleep. She hadn't told anyone, at least not yet. She didn't want to become a bigger burden than she already felt like she was. Looking back and ruminating on her own, after getting more accustomed to the fractured and developed world she and her brethren returned, Sisu realized that she had been so....stupid. So naive. She went around Talon taking things from various vendors like a child, getting herself nearly turned to stone by that ruthless old lady. She came up with a plan that completely backfired and ended up causing her own death. She foolishly thought the world would be the same as before the Druun came and ruined everything, acting in deniable about the fact that it changed and getting herself and Raya into more trouble.
Raya.
The worst thing that Sisu did in her mind. Ignore her best friend's trauma at almost every opportunity. It was the thing that caused Sisu to go from being angry at herself, to hating herself. She had never brought it up with Raya. It was too late in her mind. To apologize now would be awkward. To open up old wounds when the real focus should be on improving Kumandra so that the Druun never come back. But these thoughts, her dreams about dying over and over again. They were tearing her up inside. Her heart grew heavier and heavier whenever she had time to herself. She'd just sit out of her room's balcony, thinking, hating herself. She felt pathetic. She was Kumandra's last hope. She shouldn't be letting these things bother her. Not to let anyone know that in her heart of hearts, she wasn't happy. She didn't need help. It was all on her. Her brothers and sisters trusted her.
So her smile still stayed on...but she didn't know how much longer that would last. Something had to give, and Sisu knew that if she didn't find a way to get it off her chest, the pain would only get worse.
Sisu needed help....but she didn't know if she had the strength to get it.
