girly

Lust loved himself. Most of the time.

He loved his long hair, just like his parents did. He remembered all the times his mother would gently comb her fingers through his blonde locks, idly cooing at him before the boy fell asleep.

He loved his long lashes. He wasn't exactly sure why, but he knew he wouldn't look like himself without them.

But damn, did he hate himself. Or did he hate other people?

He hated the way his hair rested on his shoulders, making him a target of teasing from all the other boys in his grade. He hated the way his eyelashes made him look so feminine, and the way they'd fall off and get stuck in his eyes for a solid five minutes before he'd cry it out, just to get another eyelash stuck in his eye again. He hated his lanky body, which just made him look stupid in his uniform.

Man, he was girly, and he hated that. He wished he didn't have such an attachment to his hair. He wished he wasn't a victim of teasing just because he looked a little feminine. It wasn't fair.

"Boys should be able to do whatever they want," Lust mumbled to himself, staring at the mirror and glaring at his reflection. He typically didn't mind the mirror, but today was different. He glanced at the scissors in his hands, letting out a reluctant sniffle.

Maybe, just maybe, if he took this leap.. if he broke the attachment, he'd be a normal boy. One with short and scruffy hair, one that wouldn't be teased for looking too much like a girl.

Hesitantly, he held a strand with two fingers, his other hand opening up the scissors. He held the scissors to his hair, closing his eyes and bracing himself before a small snip was heard, some strands falling to the ground. Lust lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding and opens his eyes, glancing at the floor. Oh God, was he actually deciding to go through with this dumb decision?

Lust felt his breath catch in his throat, slowly moving his gaze to the mirror. It wasn't that noticeable, only if you were actively looking for imperfections, but it still made Lust's heart beat out of his chest. The hands holding the scissors became sweaty and shaky.

He wasn't sure what the main goal for all of this was anyway. Maybe he should just stop all of this before he messed everything up. But, what if he was never accepted with his long hair? What if the only way to thrive was to have shorter hair? How could he live without thriving in-

Knock knock.

The unexpected noise from the door startled Lust, causing him to drop the scissors and immediately be snapped out of thought.

"What is it?" Lust asked, forcing his voice through his choked-up and dry throat.

"Are you feeling okay?" The boy on the other side asked almost awkwardly, knowing Lust would definitely try to push his problems away. It happened all the time.

Lust stayed quiet for a second, listening to the other's voice before speaking up, his voice strained. "Oh, Rye, don't be silly, I'm alright.." he stumbled over his words, embarrassed.

Ryder obviously did not believe that in the slightest. He had picked up Lust's unusual behaviour from quite a while ago, so he figured Lust wasn't "alright". The brunette hesitated but spoke from the other side of the door again.

"Could you let me in?"

Lust gulped. "I'm.. uh.. occupied?" he stammered a bit, scrambling to grab the scissors and put them away so Ryder wouldn't suspect anything. Ryder, on the other hand, was not buying his excuse.

"If you were really using the bathroom, you would've been out by now," Ryder says, mentally facepalming. He puts his hand on the door handle, but doesn't turn it just yet. "Has something happened?"