build me up.

EIGHT

chapter eight.
truce

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WE WERE MEETING FOR LUNCH.

I felt torn, on one hand, I was excited, and on the other hand, I feared the worst. It was a rather gloomy today, the sky was painted various shades of grey and the campus seemed bare of life. it certainly didn't help that my menstrual cycle started this morning, already affecting my anxious mood.

Despite the friendly and apologetic message he sent my way after he talked with his mother, I still felt icky on the inside.

Emotionally and physically.

The class had ended early today, granting me a few more minutes of solitude, but all it gave me was room to ruminate and ponder on the many possible outcomes. I sat in the warmth of my car for about 30 minutes attempting to find a source of distraction, but none of it elevated my worry.

Unlike the first time we hung out together, I hadn't put much thought into my appearance. I wore a grey oversized knitted sweater with a black puffer jacket on and slightly dog hair-ridden leggings because my sweet puppy decided he was going to attack me with his love before leaving. My feet sported my off-brand black Crocs I bought from Walmart and the thick hospital socks I stole from my dad's rehab center. I even threw on a bandana instead of styling my hair and a pair of gloves I crocheted. I had no earrings in, no necklaces, and simply no fucks to give today.

This week is the beginning stages of preparing for finals and I had a few 10-page papers due this and next week so I was not in the best of moods. Hopefully, my disposition won't affect how this goes. Though I was feeling miserable today, I managed to keep up with class and stayed engaged with my teacher. My smile hadn't faltered much but I was quick to stress, nearly crying at the smallest inconveniences. Meeting with Peter was going to be my most challenging task.

Channeling my inner courage, I secured my fanny pack on my body before turning off and stepping out of my white sedan. I locked the doors and started a chilly walk towards the cafeteria. Though there weren't many people out, the cafeteria was booming with students once I entered the warm space. The line was quite long to the buffet-styled cafeteria and while standing there my cramps started. I needed to get in there quickly to take something to remedy the cramps.

"Ivone!" a booming, all-too-familiar voice shouted out from behind me.

I spun my head around and saw Peter walking up to me with a soft smile on his face, I couldn't help but smile back. Though my smile was minimal because of my mixed feelings, I at least felt calmer knowing he could still smile at me. He wore his glasses today. He pulled his beanie off his head stuffing it in the pocket of his puffy jacket and his backpack was hanging off one of his shoulders.

"Hey," I strain out.

"How are you today?" he asks, his head slightly tilting to the side. He and that damn tilt, he was like a curious puppy.

"Uhh, I'm okay. I was pretty nervous to see you today," I spoke honestly. "...and classes have been stressful, but for the most part I'm okay,"

There was no point in me sugarcoating anything, the truth was, I was nervous, scared even and I didn't feel the need to censor the truth. The semester has been quite draining and it's starting to hit me some, so with this new development in my life, it was taking a bit of a toll on me mentally.