The craziest thing I am going thru is breaking up with a parasocial relationship. Made me realize how much self hatred for my skin color when wishing to date a white unattainable celebrity. It was so bad that i wrote a letter in physical diary telling young and older me, that I am sorry for calling my skin dirty and an ugly pig in makeup. My brain tells to check their profiles a lot. I have decided not to unless there are any notifications. He barely posts except today. I save the video, post and archive it on my private Instagram. To maintain a healthy parasocial relationship with my fake internet boyfriend, the only way is to reduce my contact. I bet I won't do it.
Like, I DON'T KNOW THIS PERSON!!???
Also, my grades in schools are finally great. Instead of getting C,D,E and F. I am going to an A/A+. I think I am really interest in the UX design. I also want to move away from that, I am more into arts/graphic design.
I also want to write this journal on A03. I think the reason is validation. I, in the not most, productive way, want to talk to people. I am not very good at it, unfortunately. I want someone to comment on it and hopefully, they'll understand me too. I won't feel lonely in this world. Now I am blinking tears as I am writing this. Going to finish my bad Photoshop of an iPhone for Human Design. Bye.
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Diary Of Awkward Black Trans Guy
No FicciónMy diary. Possible trigger warnings and some rude, unadulterated thoughts
