The Arrangement

Chapter Nine

If there is one thing I never know how to cope with, it's tension and not the sexual kind which I admit to enjoying, our living room has been thick with it since Mark walked through the door behind an already irritable Cassie. That's what makes this shift in group dynamic so difficult, because Mark waltzes in and doesn't think anything has changed.

It's like he sees us as disposable, and has this idea in his head that we wait around for him to appear back in our lives whenever he feels like. It illuminates the carelessness he has with Cassie as well, yanking her back and forth and making her think that all the anger and fights are all her fault.

I want to pluck every single one of those doubts from her mind, scrunch them all together and throwing them in the bin where they belong. Over a year of this hurt and it's getting hard to let Cassie make the decision for herself, we can give all the support and encouragement in the world and yet something about him has her in this grip, stuck in this belief that she has to keep trying.

It makes you wonder about the type of person that you once considered a friend, it seems baffling to know that someone we all used to like has fallen so far down on our list of people we enjoy the presence of. When it comes down to it, none of us could ever give up on her, even if we think she needs to give up on him.

In addition to the fact that everyone's eyes are avoiding looking at Mark and Cassie, who's arms is wrapped around her shoulder as Alfie and Madeline set the boxes of pizza, they picked up onto our glass coffee table. Hugo's chest presses against my shoulder, the feel of his body against mine helps quiet my mind.

The streams of things I could say that would break the awkward quiet that's latched our group, not to mention the fact that Sophie's cheeks glow scarlet every time she glances in Hugo's general direction. "She still can't look at me" Hugo chuckles, the warmth of his breath sends goosebumps down my arm as he slides my plate onto my lap.

"I thought the picture was quite lovely" I grin, nudging him back slightly. "Should we offer to show Sam and see if it makes Soap feel better?"

Hugo's amusement fills the centre of my chest with a yearning to hear it constantly, chatter surrounds us, and Friends plays quietly in the background but he's my soul focus. I think he always has been.

"Sam" Hugo calls, drawing his attention from the floor, facing us but with his head bowed in murmured conversation with Sophie. Blue eyes analyse our close proximity, a smile tugs at the corner of his lips but he doesn't speak, "If I show you my dick will it make Soapie feel better?"

As I had expected, conversation ceases around us. Sam bursts into loud laughter and Sophie buries her red cheeks back into her hands, forehead practically landing in her half-eaten pizza slice. Imogen's laughter is smothered in the shoulder of Cam's jumper and Rosie sits on the ground, between her legs with a hand slapped over her mouth.

Cam's bright eyes seem to flicker between us and them, piecing together things that surely can't be true.

"Soft or hard?" Sam finally responds, although I don't believe he would go through with seeing either, unlike Cameron who would without a second thought.

Hugo shrugs, unbothered but greatly amused as his fingers dance patterns against the skin of my hip. "I'm open to either, nothing to be ashamed about"

The air around me warms, like a constant hug that I've never noticed myself yearning for and one that Hugo seems to constantly provide for me. Having his fingers skating around my body, unbothered about any reaction that our friends could have makes me horny.

It wasn't as if I wasn't an easily aroused person before Hugo and I started... this. I've always been in tune with my bodies wants, when I was younger, I thought it meant that I was dirty and gross but the older I got, and the more Rosie expressed the same thing even as a virgin. The less I thought it was a flaw, and the more I started to embrace what my body wanted, but that's all been thrown around now that Hugo has started touching me.