Incorrect ELO Quotes

Melvyn Being Melvyn And Other Things

Melvyn, talking to Mik: Well Mik, whenever I'm about to do something, I think 'would Hugh do that?' and if he would, I do not do that thing.
Mik: ...
Hugh, from the distance: He's not wrong though!

Melvyn: The first time I ever got upset in front of Hugh, he put his arms around me and it was so awkward that I had to ask him if he was hugging me or reaching for something on the shelf behind me.
Hugh: I was doing both, for your information.
Mik: The first time Hugh hugged me, it was such a disaster we didn't make eye contact for, like, a week after.

Melvyn: When I was a kid, Hugh told me that the paper strip that's in the chocolate kisses were edible and I ate them with the chocolate for a year.
Mik: They are!
Melvyn: FOR REAL?
Mik: No! Why did you fall for it again?

Mik: They made Melvyn cry!
Hugh: Melvyn always cries!
Melvyn: That's not true! *cries*

Richard, setting down a card: Ace of spades.
Jeff, pulling out an Uno card: +4.
Kelly, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you!
Bev, trembling: What are we playing?!

Richard: Are you laughing at that video of Bev and Jeff fighting?
Kelly: No.
Kelly: I'm laughing at the comments.

*The Squad is at Jeff's house*
Melvyn : Ohhhh we each get our own oven?
Jeff: ...N-No...
Jeff, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???
Melvyn , motioning to the kitchen: Three, I thought!
Richard: I see a-
Jeff, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.
Melvyn : Oh, well I-
Jeff: Hey, wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*
Jeff, amazed: Its got a bake setting!
Hugh: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!
Bev: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?
Jeff: Now I've discovered more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin'!
Jeff: I am someone who owns four ovens...
Jeff, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...
Mik, pointing to another appliance: Also, the toaster oven!
Jeff:
Melvyn : Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!
Jeff:
Jeff, ecstatic: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS.

Bev: Today, Kelly took my phone, and in five minutes, he sent high resolution close-up photos of Richard to the following people: Jeff, Hugh, Mik, the neighbors, the bank, my accountant, San Diego Blood Bank, and Shake Shack's text bot.

Bev: So, did everyone learn their lesson?
Kelly: No.
Richard: I did not.
Melvyn : I may have actually forgotten one.
Jeff: Also no.
Bev: Oh good, neither did I.
Hugh: *Exhausted sigh*

Hugh: We're kind of missing something guys.
Kelly: Cohesion?
Richard: Teamwork?
Bev: A general sense of what we're doing?
Mik: And Jeff is not here.
Kelly: Oh, and that, yeah.

*The Squad is playing Chess*
Hugh: *easily beats everyone because they know how to play*
Kelly: *doesn't know the rules, but wins anyway*
Bev: *doesn't know the rules, and loses*
Mik: *knows the rules, but still loses to those who don't*
Jeff: Actually, you can't do that, because I said so.
Melvyn : They named a board game after cheese?

*the Squad at Disneyland, in the teacups*
Richard, Bev, and Melvyn : *spinning a little and talking*
Jeff, Hugh, and Kelly: *flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming*

Richard: Did you bring Jeff?
Kelly, gesturing to Hugh: No, but I brought the next best thing.
Richard: Hugh? The next best thing would be Bev.
Hugh: I would be offended, but Bev is freakishly strong.

Melvyn: Hugh, I have a question.
Hugh: What is it, Melvyn?
Melvyn: What color is an orange?
Hugh: Melvyn, you bonehead! Its color is the same as its name. Just like a lemon.

Hugh: Do you take constructive criticism?
Melvyn: Not without crying

Hugh, entering the room: *Sees Melvyn and leaves*
Melvyn, watching Hugh leave: There's my monthly dose of Hugh...