Playboi's Bunny

39. Playboi

January 19, 2022

"Yo Playboi, where you find 'nem two you got now? They bad as a motherfucka." Roc nudges my shoulder as we sit outside on the porch waiting on grandma Shirley to get here. He offers me the blunt in his hand but I shake my head and decline.

It's eight am and both Sahara and Zayne still at the hotel, knocked out even though I wanted them here with me. I couldn't sleep once it hit six so I got up, showered and now I'm outside with my crazy ass cousin, watching him make a couple plays up the street every couple of minutes.

"Which one yo favorite?" He asks when I don't answer the first question.

I laugh again and run my hand over the waves in my hair. You don't get two women by having favorites, that ain't how that works.

"Neither, bruh. They both my favorite." I ignore the fact I sound like a pussy and watch as a few cars ride down the street slowly.

"Nah, be foreal wit' me right now, cuz. Which one suck dick better?"

"Nigga, stop talkin' 'bout my girls. They both can suck and take dick now leave it alone and you better not try no funny shit 'cause they'll let me know and probably fuck you up."

"Shit, my nigga you can't get mad at folk fa' lookin at yo two baaaaaad ass bitches you brought home." He laughs and takes another hit. "But nah, I got my own lil' situation goin' on, I ain't finna press up on yo shorties, g."

"Hope not 'cause Sahara don't play that shit." I say and laugh as her and the guns she always carrying comes to mind.

Roc looks off into the distance like he got something on his mind. He sighs and then hits the blunt again.

"Yo, you good?"

After a second of watching a big black truck inch by slowly, Roc turns his head to look at me.

"Yeah..."

"You waitin' on somebody to pull up?"

"Nah, just got some shit goin' on...you know how that goes." He glances at me and then shrugs. "Well maybe you don't."

"What that mean?"

"You ain't a D boy outchea tryna come up. You already came up. And forgot about yo people's at that." He says and shrugs nonchalantly.

"Nah. I ain't forget about nobody."

"Yeah, aight. That's why we ain't seen or heard from yo ass in five years, right?"

Before I can tell him the reason I ain't been back home, he stands and blows smoke out in front of him.

"Don't trip though, I been holdin' it down so we good. Hol' up real quick."

Even after Roc walks off, his words play over in my head. I know I didn't call or speak to anyone for a while but I didn't forget nobody! How could I forget my family, the people that helped get me where I'm at today?

I start feeling guilty when I realize that just like me, it did have its effects on everybody else when Trayvon died. Maybe I did turn my back on them but it wasn't intentional.