A blank Slate

Behind these Crimson Eyes

My little black MP3 player pulsed All Time Low softly into my ears. I couldn't complain. Maybe it wan't a sleek, mainstream iPod, but it was something. My own little escape from the world with its bright lights and loud noises. I'd much rather be sitting by water somewhere, surrounded by trees, but mom said I had to interact with other people my age, that it was good for me. I didn't see how that could possibly help my situation, but oh well. I'd do anything she told me if it'd make her life a little easier.

"Does she ever talk?" Bell whispered to Carrie non-discretely. She would have answered, but I think she was too busy watching me. I could see them in the reflection of the window. I would have answered too but that's a bit of a paradox. How can one say that they don't talk?

The killers came on next and I smiled. The minute hand on the clock was just about at the twelve. That meant it would be four soon and I could go home. I had to stay at school for about an hour and a half after it got out because my mom had to take on extra hours at the shop. She was a mechanic.

I never figured out why the group of four blondes that sat at the table behind me stayed at school this long. I'd been doing it for weeks and they'd been there every time. Maybe it was a club or something. The cafeteria was completely empty save me, the blonde squad, a security guard and the Janitor, Emily.

I could still smell the remnants of the school's lunches rotting in a nearby trashcan and it reminded me of something, but I couldn't put my finger on it and the thought vanished. Just like all the others. I pushed the air out of my lungs, long and slow until there was nothing left. Then I counted. 1...2...3...4,5,6,7. Air flooded back through my nose, filling my lungs like helium does those giant balloons in the Macy's Day Parade. I'd always wanted to see one of those.

I looked back at the clock. 4:00 on the dot. I smiled and got up, slinging my gray backpack over one shoulder. The thing about where I sat, in the far back corner by the big, full wall windows, was that I had to pass the table where Carrie and her friends sit. I took simple, measured steps, two per large floor tile.

"Hey!" Bell called to me. I didn't look up and wished they'd stop trying to talk to me. I felt bad ignoring them all the time. "Can you hear me?" Yes.

Six steps took me past their table. If I'd been more observant, I would have noticed that Carrie was no longer present. That was the funny thing about fate. It caused you to make uncharacteristic mistakes. I always noticed everything. It was a habit, but for some reason it didn't occur to me that I'd only counted three blonde heads.

The song ended as I pushed open the door and I subconsciously switched it, skipping the next one already knowing what it would be. Wheezer came on and I bobbed my head a little to the music, stuffing my hands into my pockets and letting my posture relax a bit, hunching my shoulders and letting my chin length bangs drape over my eyes.

It was warm outside, making my white zip up hoodie unnecessary. I pulled the hood over my head anyway, shielding my eyes from the bright sun. I pulled my black Razor from the back pocket of my tan cargo pants, flipping it open.

One new voice message.

I gingerly pulled a headphone from my ear and switched it for the speaker on my phone. "Hey Blake, it's Mom. I'm really sorry but..." There was a man yelling in the background. "I'm getting there Jerry! Sorry. I can't come get you after school. I have to stay a little later. You can walk right? I love you!" The line went dead and I released my breath in a small puff. I looked up, shielding my eyes from the sun. I would still have sunlight by the time I got home.

It was about an hour long walk back to my house. My shoulders drooped a little bit more. Mom would probably sleep at a friend's house close to the shop if she couldn't come get me. That usually meant she was pulling an all nighter.

"Are you waiting for someone?" I jumped and spun around, my heart thumping at the sudden scare. I pushed my hand to my chest as if that would steady the spasming muscle. "Oops. Sorry," she chuckled lightly, covering her mouth with one hand. "I didn't mean to startle you."

She looked at me expectantly and I remembered that she'd asked me a question. I looked around, trying not to meet her gaze but... Blue. Her eyes were blue. She stared back at me and I suddenly wished I'd looked somewhere else. "Woah." She whispered.

I closed my eyes quickly and angled my face away, but it was too late. She'd seen my eyes. For some reason their shade of crimson intrigued people. That was the one thing I couldn't afford to be. Intriguing.

I shuffled my feet awkwardly, wishing she would go away. "So... Are you unable to talk, or do you just choose not to?" I could tell she was looking me over, evaluating me. Just like -them-. I shrugged and started walking. She fell in step next to me. I put my other headphone in, thinking that would dissuade her from following me any more. It didn't.

We walked side by side until we reached the crosswalk leading away from the school. I stopped, relenting slightly and noticing that, even though we weren't talking, I enjoyed her company. Her eyes were on me again; I could tell. She was waiting for me to look up so I did, meeting her gaze with guarded red eyes.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" I just looked at her for a moment and then shrugged, admiring her pretty white sweater and jeans. She looked good in white. Clean. "Well I hope so... Bye." She gave me a huge smile before walking back towards the school.

The light changed two times before I moved from my spot, her wide grin seared into the backs of my eyelids. She was going to be a problem.