No More Tomorrows

Chapter 8: Use Me

"First things first. How far do you want to go? That will help us determine your song choice. If you're only going to tease we need a shorter song and plenty of beats that you can strut the stage and maybe even crawl to. If you're going topless we can go sexier. If you're going full nude then I'd suggest a longer, slower song so you've got time to remove your layers, work them up  into a frenzy and then drop the last  of your outfit right before the lights go out. It's up to you."

I knew Bess was asking me questions but I felt like a deer caught in headlights. Was I really going to do this? 

"I know you're doing this for a shit reason sweetheart but I think you're actually going to kill it and make some serious money. You saw how packed things were out there tonight and I will pump them up for you, let them know you're popping your stripping cherry. It will definitely catch attention."

"Ummm I'm not sure. I mean I don't know." 

"Emily you need to get your shit together. If you're going to do this I'm going to ensure you do a good job. I'm not letting you go out there and make a fool of yourself. So you've gotta decide if you're in or you're out. If you're in then we get to work. If not I'll help you get an Uber and you can be on your way." 

What would Grant think of this? He'd always loved that he was my only. He'd definitely lose his mind if I was to walk out on that stage and show what he considered "his" to hundreds of men. I could feel more tears coming and I needed them to stop. I needed to decide what I wanted and do it quickly. Was I someone who had ever thought about stripping before? Nope. Definitely not. But did I want to make a big Fuck You statement to my soon to be ex. Yes. Yes I did. And if I wanted out of that apartment in the foreseeable future I needed cash. 

I blurted out the first song I could think of.

"Rocket by Beyonce. I actually have a routine that might be okay. Not sure how it would work with removing clothes but it's definitely sexy. It was our class project when I took some classes back in college."

"Now we're getting somewhere. Let me bring it up on Spotify and we'll talk it through then you can show me what you've got."

"You want me to dance here? Now?" I could feel the panic returning and my moment of bravado faded away. Was I really doing this?

I heard Bess sigh before she took both my hands in hers. 

"Emily... we just went through this. If you're going to get on my stage I need you to want it. I need you to want to strut your fine ass down to those front seats and show those men, especially your cheating boyfriend, what they can only dream of having. You're hot as fuck and I believe in you. Do you believe in you?"

"Why wasn't I enough? Why did he stop loving me?"

I didn't realise I'd spoken aloud until Bess answered me. 

"He didn't."

Was she insane - he was in her strip club and she thought he loved me?

"Now before you interrupt me, you already know I've been doing this a long time. I have seen more men come through those doors than you'll meet in your lifetime. I don't actually think that your man has stopped loving you. He just loves himself more. He's here with his work crew, fitting in, being one of the boys. Not smart enough or man enough to say I don't need to watch other women strip I've got my woman at home. Sadly I see it all the time."

She was right. This wasn't my fault. It was all on him. I was not one to play the victim and I wouldn't let Grant turn me into one. I finally felt myself getting mad instead of sad so I looked her in the eye and said.

"Okay. Where are we doing this?"

Bess let go of my hands and crushed me in a hug, a hug that made me realise just how long it had been since I'd been held. It was over before it started and next thing I knew she'd pressed play and we were shoving her desk over to give us more room to work with. The music was just as sensual as I remembered but now I realised we had a problem. 

"Only one thing though. When we performed we all had our boyfriends sit on folding chairs. We performed for them. Like a tease meant only for their eyes. How would I adjust that here?"

"Use me."

I looked towards the door and saw Aidan had returned. He was holding some scraps of white lace and I blushed that he'd offered to let me use him.

"I'll happily sit in a chair and you can dance for me. I think you feel safe with me and you can pretend it's just us. Make this less scary."

It was tempting as he did make me feel safe. Weird considering I'd only met him tonight.

"I don't want to embarrass you."

"Sweetness I can tell you the last thing I'll be feeling is embarrassed."

He gave me that same cocky look he had on his face when I first approached the club and when he waggled his eyebrows I couldn't help but laugh. 

"Okay let's do this."