She Is Not One Of Us | KNB FANFIC (GOMxOC)

KNB 17: Breakdown

I slowed to a jog as I approached the outside pool where I could see the team training. My eyes almost instantly found the tall, broad shouldered captain who was standing by the diving blocks shouting encouragements as he seemed to be writing something down.

My feet seemed to remember the way as I walked into the girls locker rooms. I sat on a bench my head in my hands as I tried to figure out what I was going to do, what I needed to do to seem normal again. The answer came in the form of a captain and a school swimming costume.

Blue eyes stared into mine as he started to explain himself,"I saw you outside and I guessed you didn't have a suit but wanted to swim, so here's one of our school ones. It's brand new don't worry. Also don't worry I won't tell you off for coming here,Charlie. It's always nice to have new faces." He continued to babble on and I watched his ears turn red with amusement; maybe it was about time I ended his torment.

"Well I will be getting changed so why don't you go back to coaching your squad." I smiled watching him leave. If only the skittles where like him, not nosy and kind.

A pang of pain sliced through my head but I had soon pushed it down and when I had finished getting changed I found a swimming cap and goggles lying around.

I put both on and then walked out and towards the captain, "I just realised I don't even know your name." I commented standing behind him, causing the captain to jump and then turn around smiling broadly, "Mizumi Shōta, and you're Kinmura Charlie-kun."

He grinned at me and I smiled back, but the his grin fell off his face and I took a step back, "what happened to you? You're covered in bruises, Charlie," he grabbed my shoulders to stop me from backing away,"you need to go to Sora-San." I shook myself out of his grip and then watched him blow his whistle, all the swimmers begun to climb out of the pool, it must be the end of training.

The second the last swimmer was out of the pool, I was on the diving block leaning back and then I was enveloped in water. I let my instincts take over and let my mind drift as I floated through the substance.

It felt like I was in heaven, even the stinging from my cuts and bruises began to subside and I continued. Even when the squad had left, even when the captain had left and even when the flood lights where turned off due to the schools curfew. I swam to extinguish the burning fire inside me that wanted to destroy everything.

I continued to even when my legs were burning and my lungs begged for more air, even when i felt my head begin to throb and my arms loose their strength.

As my feet finally made contact with the floor I couldn't even stand so I lay on my back in the water and floated. I didn't have anywhere to sleep anyway, as my eyes were drifting shut I remembered that I had tucked in a pack of cigarettes into my bra when we had been heading off to the match. I grinned and slowly I stood up and managed to pull myself out of the water. My legs could barely support me yet alone help me walk but slowly I made my way to the locker rooms where I found the pack.

"Char-kun! Char-kun! Are you okay?"

My body froze and I quickly placed a cigarette at my mouth and lit the match I had placed inside the pack off the wall. I inhaled and exhaled, fighting my need to cough. A shiver ran down my spine and up again as I realised just how cold it was. I slid out of the swimming costume and slowly got dressed back into my clothes.

Then having not heard Kuroko's voice again, I decided it was okay to go outside. I put out the remainder of my cigarette on the floor and then kicked it under a locker, something I had done many times.

I walked outside and sat cross legged near to the pool, watching the ripples. My bag was around my shoulder and I reached in to find my phone. I turned it on to see a few missed calls and a single text, shutting it I resisted the urge to step on it and kick it under a locker or just lob it into the pool and watch it sink to the bottom.

"Char-kun? Please don't leave again." I heard a sniffle and then turned to see Kuroko staggering away from the swimming pools.

I gulped, hard and then stood and scaled the fence that surrounded the pool. I landed with a thud on the floor, my legs too weak to support me. Kuroko whipped around and I grinned at him. He ran over and looked at me, as if to check that I was real. He opened his mouth as if to say something but instead he slapped me, hard across the face.

"You were smoking, weren't you. I thought you were going to leave without saying anything again. Why? Why did you run? Why did you leave?"

Surprise was the first thing I felt, sheer surprise. Kuroko, the invisible man, the man with no emotions, was crying. I opened my mouth to reply when someone punched me hard on the head and someone else kicked me in the back, I stoop up to see Kise and Aomine.

"How could you make Kuroko-Cchi cry, Char-cchi? I thought you were a nicer person than that." Kise went to comfort Kuroko but Kuroko ran straight into my chest. I shook my head, no.

"Char, you're gonna stay here forever aren't you? Charlie, you will protect me won't you? Kin, you're like my big sister. Kidston, I love you. So please win the match." The voices mixed together in a blender of memories that I could no longer control. I was drowning. I was floating. All these voices from my past, both from America and here, I could never escape.

"Come on Char don't be a wimp it's only a fag." (A/N a fag = a cigarette)

My body felt like lead as I dropped to my knees, Kuroko long gone, now being protected my Aomine. My hands buried themselves in my hair trying to rip out chunks of that devilish red hair. My chest throbbed, you're heartless, can you not cry? My hands tried to gouge out my eyes, you have your mothers eyes, that scheming bitch. My lips burnt as if on fire, give us a kiss flame girl.

I choked out a sob, a plea for help but it was over. Just as soon as it had started, the voices subsided and the fire inside me began to die down. I stayed bent over though, scared to see the faces of my team looking at me in fear. I wouldn't be able to take it.

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*hides*