Her Blue Eyes (GxG) [Completed]

Chapter 31: What's going on?

Lily's POV:

Since the day that I had a mental breakdown in front of everyone because my suppressed feelings took the best of me at that time, I've had nightmares almost every night.

Over and over again, the same scenes played out in my nightmares. It was the scene of Diana leaving me while everyone was standing above me, judging me and smirking as I broke down wailing because I had lost the one I loved.

I felt vulnerable and powerless as their creepy laughter filled my ears and daggers shot from their gaze.

My voice would go completely out, and I would be short of breath as I screamed and yelled.

Feeling suffocated, I would wake up in fear. Diana held me in her arms patiently until I fell asleep whenever this happened.

Despite her being patient with me, I couldn't push my anxiety away. There was a deep fear of separation, consuming me more as the day passed by. I was becoming aware of the importance of Diana's presence in my life.

I knew that I was nothing without her.

I knew that I had no one but her.

I knew that my life would have been pointless if she had ever left me.

Too much attachment can lead to unknowingly tiring someone out. Being too reliant on someone can lead to feeling like you need their approval or validation in order to feel complete.

This also can put pressure on the other person and lead to feelings of being overwhelmed and exhausted.

I could feel that I was bothering Diana. She has been looking exhausted since I haven't let her get enough sleep. I've been clinging to her whenever I'm at home, not letting her do her work. I've been on her nerves by asking the same old childish questions.

My mind has been so busy with those overwhelming thoughts that I couldn't focus on things that really matter, such as my exams. I tried to study. However, they didn't get through my head. I didn't have enough concentration or confidence, which led me to fail my exams in the end. She asked me to go to college, yet I was still struggling with high school subjects.

Diana said that it was okay to fail, but I knew she only said that out of kindness.

I was a burden on her shoulders...
I knew she was tired of me...

Nevertheless, I felt she couldn't be honest with me...

Ironically, I preferred to hear sweet lies from her rather than hear the harsh truth...

I couldn't lose her...

~

[Tomorrow evening.] [18:30 P.M.]

Diana and I were standing on the porch of her parent's house, waiting for them to open the door. I was wearing a long black Fastoni skirt with a grey turtleneck pullover and a long, thin gold necklace. As for my shoes, I chose a simple pair of black high heels.

Diana was wearing light blue baggy jeans and a black blue V-neck cable knit pullover sweater with black Converse.

I was incredibly nervous thinking about meeting Diana's parents. I squeezed the straps of the paper bags into my hands anxiously as I saw the front door swing open.

Her mother appeared in the doorframe with a big smile on her face. Despite the grey highlights in her hair, her facial features were similar to Diane's. However, her mother's height was shorter than her. She hugged me gently and said, "Hiiii. I'm Sally, Diana's mother! Welcome to our home!"

I smiled. "I'm Lily! Nice to meet you, Sally!" Then I handed her the paper bags and said, "These are red wine and Swiss rolls with some chocolates for you."