(Originally posted March 20, 2013)
So, Red, you pulled a real John Lennon when you were 17?
John Lennon? What do you mean?
Yea. There is a story that when he was in his first marriage he went out for a pack of smokes and was gone like 10 years.
(Zara laughs)
Well I didn't go out for smokes, but I was gone for a while. But I did pick up smoking almost immediately.
(Zara gives me a look)
I know what you are going to say, so don't waste your breath.
Yes, its time to quit.
What part of don't waste your breath, don't you understand.
I am proud of you for quitting.
But don't preach to me.
I promise, no preaching. Now back to you. How long were you gone?
I left May 1st, 1985 and I finally went back to Toronto at the end of summer, 1990.
You were 23?
Yea. I came back at the end of August. I was indeed 23 years old.
So your one year off turned into 5 years. What did you do and where did you go?
Oh my God, Bill. What didn't I do and where didn't I go.
(Zara takes a mouthful of beer and shakes her head)
I went all over Canada and the United States. I even travelled Mexico for a while. I took a trip to England and Ireland and Scotland. I was in France, Germany, Sweden, Finland, and Denmark. I even went on a Caribbean cruise for 9 months, working the cruise ship, of course.
So that's why no one heard from you? At least I didn't.
I kept in contact with my aunt and uncle. Well as best as I could. I promised them I would phone every other day, and I did for a while, but the calls got fewer and farther between, as time went by. Eventually I only phoned on holidays, but I always phoned on Zoey's birthday and wished her a happy birthday. When she learned to talk she called me Zaza. She couldn't pronounce my name.
Was it hard talking to her, when she could talk?
It was for me, but she didn't know who I was. Aunt Sheila told her I was her Aunt Zara, so I became Auntie Zaza. I cried after every call. I wanted so bad to go to her, to take her in my arms and tell her I was her mommy, but I knew that would be wrong. She had wonderful parents and they gave her everything she needed in life. My aunt and uncle were pretty well off, so Zoey never lacked for anything. I was happy about that and I knew that I had done the right thing.
Did you ever call your Dad?
No. I never called him at all. Aunt Sheila told me later that he had given up drinking and that he had even got married again. She said he felt horrible for what he had said to me and that he really wanted me back in his life, but in all honesty, I could not get past what he had said to me. He was dead to me. I was glad that he had gotten his life back together, but I had no need or desire to talk to him.
