Everyday Pain

1. Jessica, who?

"Ms.White we'd love for you to sign a one year contract with us for your next album", said the Studio manager whilst printing out a form for me to fill. He was waiting for a reply and I didn't really have one. I wasn't very sure if I wanted to record an album and become the next internet sensation. I replied to him after a good minute saying, "I'm not quite sure. Can I please take some time to think about it? I'll let you know as soon as possible." He sighed and went on saying, "I'm afraid the validity of the offer is limited and you'll have to let us know right now, love." His tone was very convincing and thus I accepted the offer! Before I knew it, I was already on tour and performing. Out of no where I seemed to crash into a very handsome heart throb and was in love from the word 'go'.

"Jessica, wake up hunny. It's time to get ready for high school." I woke up and was surprised to find myself laying in my same old boring bedroom. Well, a girl can dream, right? Turned out I never really became a star. I was still trying to come back into reality from my marvellous dream when I heard the words, " Are you ready yet, Jessica?" Mum was yelling from downstairs. We didn't have much of a family, so her voice bounced off of every plain wall til it finally approached me. I rushed to take a long, warm and steamy bath. It was all I needed to freshen up and gear myself for yet another hectic day. My hair was still damp and I had no other choice than to just leave it down and let it air-dry. The thought that I was watching merely a pathetic dream did haunt me for the rest of the day.

It was really early in the morning- the sun was still struggling to peek from the misty clouds itself. I never understood how the world expects students to wake up, even before the birds, to hurry up and get hustling. The clock kept ticking and I had to get a move on. So, I quickly slipped into my cherry red, baggy tunic and pulled up my denim-blue skinny jeans. "MUM WHERE IS MY OTHER UGG?" I screamed aloud from upstairs struggling to complete my only pair of boots. After a good minute or two she exclaimed, saying, "It's down here, near the fireplace. JUST HURRY AND COME DOWNSTAIRS OR YOU WILL BE LATE!" I sighed in relief and dashed down the stairs. As I hopped down my hair flipped this way and that way. Water droplets were dripping from almost every strand of hair and were scattering around me like translucent crystal balls considering i didnt leave enough time to dry them off with a towel.

In moments, I was standing infront of her and nodding as a sign of approval that I was all set and ready to go. "What about breakfast? You didn't even have dinner last night." She asked worryingly that I might go off with an empty stomach. I've never really been keen to eat on time but mum always knew how to manipulate me even if it was against my will. "It will have to wait but I promise to eat something as soon as I reach there." AShe just stood there looking at me with a disappointed and anxious look, thinking that it was hard for me to survive the day, making it compulsory for me to not leave without stuffing myself. Therefore, I grabbed a croissant and a juice box as fast as I could and swung my back pack over my left shoulder.

Mum was already waiting in the car til i came out to drop me off at high school. She rushed the car and accelerated as much as she could. No, she wasn't speeding carelessly but she did as much as she could to help me reach on time. In the meanwhile, I was gobbling up my stale croissant that i had bought 2 days ago and had forgot about. Its crumbs were falling onto the car mat which i knew was going to get me in trouble later but there wasn't anything i could've done to prevent it. Still slurping my juice, I realised I had forgotten my headphones at home. "Damn it! A whole day without music? I'll have to actually listen to people. Great." It was not that I didn't like talking to people or that I liked living as an individual soul. Don't get me wrong or anything. It was just that I didn't really like most people, or should i say "snakes", at school and listening to music every now and then made it easier for me to relax and not give a schnitzel about this stuck up world.

"So, excited?" Mother enquired whist turning onto the high school driveway. I grabbed hold of my things, ready to go, confused upon the question I answered, "Why on earth will I be excited?" I did the quoting-speech-mark sign to the word 'excited', "School is never fun and it isn't like it's my first day either, mum." She sighed and carried on, "Gosh! It's a new day, you'll be meeting up with your friends in a bit and learning new things! What isn't exciting? I really don't get you teenagers and being ungateful." Tilting my head to the right and placing one hand on my neck I sarcastically replied, "Yeah, haha. Friends." Friends? Seriously? As if they were doing any good to me. I had left my damned headphones at home! That's all i could think of.

We arrived at My High school and mum drove away- her car was fading in the distance as she drove on further. I was heading towards my class, faced down looking at my reflection in the shiny marble tiles. Out of no where a bunch of girls came sprinting towards me. "HI JESSICA! I'M SITTING WITH YOU TODAY, OKAY!? " exclaimed Trisha. The other girls gave her a disturbing and pissed off look and started arguing as to who was going to sit with me. Rolling my eyes and pretending that I wasn't bothered by this, I continued heading towards my class. OK, so, not to brag or anything but people somehow loved my company as much as it bored me. I guess they just really enjoyed giggling to all my jokes and sarcasm. It is a bit annoying though when people give you too much attention and when you're one of those really prominent people in school.

Luckily, I was able to escape at that very instance and sit next to Olivia. She was a very decent and positive girl. She was also very quite, which did bore me at times but we used to get along. "Hey Jess! 'You good? ", she said. "Yeah...hi. " replied I. The day started just like any other and minutes kept flying. Lessons went on and all of a sudden the bell rang so loud and repeatedly that I could feel it almost poke my soul. Finally, it was recess and I had some time to revive myself. I went to the cafeteria and sat down with my 'squad'.

Recess was well spent. Only because there were a ton of people around me, laughing at my jokes, listening to me sing songs that were of their choice ONLY and all the usual. Every one was having a jolly, good time. But no one knew what was lying within this hyped up seventeen year old girl who is always ready to party, AKA me.

So here are a few facts about me. My name Is Jessica WHITE. I had always been one hell of a popular girl at school, always smiling, joking around, kidding, But... what lied within me is nothing like that. I mean, it is common sense that no one is always smiling. It just isn't how human nature was made. What I seem to appear to other people, is merely a cover or moreover a mask to hide all my insecurities. Yes, I too have insecurities- I'm human too you know? I've had some really horrible experiences throughout my life, and I guess that's why I'm more capable than I was ages ago. To many people I may seem like the strongest bitch alive, but honestly I'm as sensitive as f*ck. They thought I was social, I had like thousands of friends, I was proper badass, but in actual fact, I was this normal teen who had fears just like any other.
Though I do accept that I had become way too mature, too fast, too soon! The reasons to that were all the times I had been trodden over, only gave me the strength to stand a little stronger and taller than before. I know I wasn't the only one struggling in this race and that is why i kept going. If other people could do it, so could I. Or so i thought.