Forever my Marine

Chapter #58

Chapter #58
⚠️A lot of talk about mental illness⚠️
July 23nd 2021
Scarlett’s POV
I watched Louri and the kids go back to sleep after Louri’s nightmare and panic attack. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep. I just watch Louri’s breathing as she sleeps and her heart rate on the monitor for signs of a nightmare. I look at the clock to see it’s 4:23 in the morning. I don’t have to go to sleep to see the image of Louri being  thrown back by the explotion. The way she said ‘I love you’ is on a loop in my head. It was different than the way she normally says it. I mean she was saying goodbye. “Mommy.” Louisa’s quiet tired voice calls out breaking me out of my thoughts. “Yes sweetie?” I ask. “Why Mama scream?” She asks. “She had a bad dream. That's all sweetie try and go back to sleep ok.” I tell her and she nods and curls back into Louri. I sent a text to Bri asking to bring Louri’s favorite for breakfast even though I know she won’t see it till she wakes up in a few hours.
I guess I nodded off because I wake up to the sound of the first AVENGERS movie playing God damn it Louri. “It Mommy.” Maya says and I hear Natasha trying to get Banner to come with her; they must have just started the movie. “It is your Mommy.” I hear Bri say. “Yeah and she’s pretending to be asleep.” I hear Lisa chuckle. “Because I don’t like watching my movies.” I say into the pillow. “You have to admit it’s a good movie.” Shanna says. “Why is everyone whispering?” I ask then I see Louri is still asleep so it wasn’t her idea to watch AVENGERS. “How is she still asleep?” I ask quietly. “Scarlett you have to remember she can sleep in a warzone and they are not quiet.” Lisa says. “That’s true.” I say. “Now which one of you is responsible for AVENGERS being on?” I ask. “Devon.” Bri says as she holds Maya, Louisa is in Lisa’s arms. “I like watching you save the world just like Mama.” Devon says. “Well not just like Mama.” I tell him. “Yeah Mama gets hurt more.” Devon says with a frown after hearing the word Mama multiple times Louri starts to wake up. “What time is it?” She asks god her morning voice is hot. “It’s almost ten o’clock I’m surprised you slept in so late.” Shanna says. “Yeah I had an eventful night.” Louri says, and Lisa, Bri, and Shanna look at her weird. I didn't tell them about the nightmare and panic attack. “You didn’t tell them, did you?” Louri asks me. “No I didn’t.” I say. “Tell us what?” Lisa asks. “Mama screamed.” Maya says and Louri’s eyes tear up; she's probably beating herself up because the kids saw and heard what happened last night. “Yeah I had a nightmare. I’m sorry you had to see that.” Louri says to Maya. “It otay Mama, everyone has bad dreams sometimes. You told me that.” She says. “I did tell you that, didn't I?” Louri says. “Why didn’t you call me?” Lisa asks a little bit of Mama Bear showing. “Ma if I called you every time I had a nightmare that would be almost every night.” Louri says. “Oh fuck I didn’t want Scarlett to know that.” Louri says. “Almost every night? How do I not wake up? I sleep right next to you, more like on top of you like a koala.” I ask, beating myself up for not helping her. “Because they aren’t always bad enough that I scream.” Louri says. “Why don’t you wake me?” I ask. “Because seeing you sleeping so peacefully brings me peace.” She tells me. “Please wake me.” I say. “But.” Louri says and I cut her off. “Lieutenant Colonel Louri Evans-Johansson I want you to wake me. I want to be able to help you.” I tell her. “Is that an order Mrs. Lt Colonel?” Louri asks. “If that’s what I have to do to get my stubborn Marine to listen then yes.” I say. “Ok I will wake you up when I have a nightmare.” She says. “Thank you.” I say leaning in for a kiss and she does the same and the kids and Shanna all say ‘ew’ or ‘yuck’. “Lisa are all of your kids giant children?” I chuckle. “Yeah I would say that.” Lisa says before the door bursts open so hard the doorknob nearly goes threw the wall causing me to jump into Louri’s lap and Louri jumps too and her heart rate spikes on the monitor and her breathing is heavy. “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU GOT HURT!!!?” Carly yells at Louri. “I d-didn’t w-want t-to w-worry e-everyone.” Louri stutter’s out. “Louri look at me.” I say gently grabbing her face being careful not to touch the bruises as she starts to spiral.

Louri’s POV
When Carly threw the door open with a bang I started to go into a PTSD spiral. “Louri look at me.” I hear Scarlett say as she gently moves my head so I am facing her. I don't say anything. I just burry my head into her shoulder and cling onto her for dear life trying not to break down in front of the kids since they saw enough last night.

Scarlett’s POV
Louri doesn’t say anything, she just buries her head into my shoulder which is fairly easy for her to do since I am on her lap and her grip on me tightens but not enough to hurt. I can tell she’s trying not to break down. I just rub her back and tell her she’s safe and I’ve got her. It seems to help her as her breathing starts to go back to normal. “Shit I wasn’t thinking when I swung the door open.” Carly says her voice full of guilt. “I-it’s o-ok.” Louri barely gets out. “No it’s not I’m your big sister I’m supposed to protect you not hurt you.” Carly says sitting on the side of the bed and she starts to rub Louri’s back as well. I didn’t notice that Lisa, Shanna, and Bri took the kids out of the room. After about ten minutes and Louri’s breathing is back to normal Carly speaks up “Should I go?” She asks. “No, it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other.” Louri says turning her head so she can see her sister but still rests her head on my shoulder. “Yeah it has been a while.” Carly says. “I’d ask you how you are doing but I kinda already figured that out.” Carly chuckles softly. “Oh really what gave it away?” Louri jokes. “Still the same goofy person I see.” Carly says. “How have you been Carly?” I ask. “I’ve been good, John would have come with me but he is swamped with work.” Carly says. “I understand that.” Louri says. “She will work on reports in bed when I’m asleep she will have one arm around me and use the other to type.” I tell Carly. “That sounds like my sister. John doesn’t do that, he doesn't bring his laptop into the bedroom because he thinks he’ll do just what you said Louri does.” Carly says. “You know I’m right here.” Louri says. “Yeah and we are ganging up on you.” Carly jokes. “How did you know I got hurt?” Louri asks. “John is still in the original 4077th group chat that has you, Greg, and Sherman.” Carly tells Louri. “Oh yeah I completely forgot that I saw Greg’s text earlier.” Louri says. “You are having trouble remembering things?” I ask since that is something the doctor said to look out for. “No, I had a six year old run at me just as I saw the text.” Louri says with a small chuckle remembering Devon bursting into the room and making a bee line straight for her. “Ok that makes sense.” I say. “Ma just texted me. She said that they took the kids to the cafeteria.” Carly says. “Ok good I’d hate for them to just sit and wait in the hall way because their Mama is fucked up in the head.” Louri says. “You are not fucked up in anyway do you understand Marine.” I say sternly I hate it when Louri says things like that about herself. “I agree with Scarlett you shouldn’t think about yourself like that.” Carly says. “Ok I will work with my therapist about it. I guess I can be pretty self deprecating at times.” Louri says. “Thank you.” I say giving her a slight squeeze.

A/N
I know the chapter’s have been emotional but that’s what real life can be like a lot. Anygays see you in the next one.