a stupid crush

a stupid- what the fuck does he mean

sanemis pov
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the inn was shitty and there was only one room, great just great, not only an i sent on a mission with a guy i have the hots for but now i have to share a room with him aswell? bullshit, but atleast we werent outside anymore, one more second out their and id probably freeze, i wonder if itll snow tonight that would be nice

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the beds were alright– a bit stiff but alright, the bed closest to the bathroom seemed to be most practical so i took that one, tomioka went straight for the other one, fuck why couldnt we share? atleast he was keeping to himself

their was a noise, one i normally hear coming from my own mouth at three am, a soft whimper it was bearly audible, but i knew the source. tomioka fucking giyuu. wait– why was he crying? should i ask him? before i could make up my mind i was already walking over to him,
"tomioka...?" i stood infront of him and his head turned up to face me slightly, "are you okay? youre crying" he looked asif he didnt notice until i pointed it out

"oh, im sorry" i sat beside him and placed my hand on his thigh, why was he apologiseing? and more importantly WHY DID I PUT MY HAND THERE???

"dont be sorry, whats wrong?" i subconsciously wiped his tear, he blushed, he blushed because of me HOLY SHIT

"would.... would you miss me if i died?" what the fuck

"what" the words came out colder than i wanted but his words stung "what the fuck are you talking about"

"i-.... you wouldnt care would you...." WHAT

"WHAT THE FUCK--" i didnt mean to shout so loud "what do you mean?! youre talking about your life!! of course i would miss you dumbass!!" i swear the corners of his mouth curled into a smile even just for a second

"you would?"

"no i would laugh at your grave-- of course i would you idiot" before i could fully comprehend what was happening he hugged me, his face right in my chest, and holy shit his hair was soft, just like i imagened "i love you" i didnt mean to say it i swear it just slipped out

"you do?" his voice vibrated against my chest and god it felt good "i love you too...."
i nearly choked on air, holy shit though does he actually?

"what?" oh my god, he moved his head from my chest to my lap, oh my god, he looked up at my and smiled, oh my fucking god

"if only you were a girl, then we could date"
he put his hand on my cheek, this moment would be nice if he didnt say that

"what? why cant we date?" why? why? why? why cant he date me? its just a gender?

"its a sin" a sin? a fucking sin?

"its not a sin, only biggots think that- oh...." the silence was loud as i moved his head off of my lap

"i-" his voice was weak and unsure of what to say "i didnt mean it like that.... i- im not a bigot.... i promise...." he looked asif he wanted no needed to cry again