NEPENTHE ━ ❨ 𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗅𝗂𝗑 ❩

06. SHADOWS OF CHILDHOOD

TRIGGER WARNING !!
Mentions a homophobic slur

Now Playing: Feel Guilty by Jeon Se Jin

Lee Know's grip tightened on the straps of his bag. In front of him stood the college, it towered over him and it looked vaster than in the images online.

"Are you nervous?" Felix asked.

Felix's questioned caused Lee Know to snap out of his gaze, he faced the freckled boy.

"Ah, no." he began, "It's just a lot bigger than I imagined."

Hearing Lee Know's response, Felix nodded. "The pictures online were misleading weren't they?"

Lee Know just simply nodded while reaching to touch his ears, feeling flushed.

The ball of sunshine smiled at Lee Lee Know, he carefully grabbed his hand and started to lead him into the building.

However, a flip had switched the moment they entered the building and it appeared the freckled boy needed more reassurance than Lee Know did.

The warm smile that was once on Felix's face had suddenly dropped and Felix looked scared.

Lee Know placed a hand on Felix's shoulder.

"Hey, are you okay?" he murmured softly.

Contemplating on what his excuse would be, Felix looked up at Lee Know and met his soft but gentle expression. It was an expression that made Felix's heart melt at the sight of it, it felt safe.

"I'm okay, I promise."

Lee Know frowned, not breaking eye contact.

"You swear? Are you comfortable here?"

In all honesty, Felix didn't feel comfortable here at all. It wasn't very easy for him to conceal his sexual identity, and he didn't want Lee Know to find out. Felix was afraid to face the consequences that could come with his new roommate finding out about his identity.

Despite this, instead of facing it head on, Felix proceeded to lie through his teeth.

"Yes, I'm comfortable here." Felix answered, attempting to shield the shakiness beneath his voice.

Of course, Lee Know could tell something was wrong right away. However, instead of prying further, he decided to leave it be just in case it was too personal for Felix to speak on.

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Class was grueling and Felix was getting quite sleepy. He'd able to meet up with Lee Know soon, he couldn't wait to get back home and rest.

Anyhow, Felix thoughts would instantly be interrupted when he felt something hit the side of his head and land on his desk in front of him.

Felix rubbed his head and glanced down to see a crumpled up piece of paper. He carefully picked it up and unraveled it. Reading the note, Felix's heart dropped and his anxiety was setting in.

lol hey fag
find any boyfriends lately?

The freckled boy's immediate instinct was to start looking around and look for the perpetrator or perpetrators if it happened to be the work of more than one person.

Unfortunately, he was unable to detect any signs of suspicion. Glancing back at the note, his hands began to tremble and his eyes started to water. He crumpled up the paper again, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater.

Soon enough, the bell rang and Felix rushed out of the class, trying to avoid any conversations. Although it wouldn't be that easy since the moment he walked out the doors, Lee Know was standing there.

"Hey, Lee Know, how was your day?" Felix asked, trying to drive attention away from himself.

Lee Know smiled, "It was actually really good. I enjoyed it." he replied.

The freckled boy smiled in response, nodding slightly.

"Well I'm glad to hear that."

Again, as if it was an instinct, Lee Know could tell that something was wrong, but he didn't pry.

"How was yours Felix?"

Lee Know's question caused Felix to perk up and he inhaled sharply.

"It was...okay." he replied, trying to contain himself from breaking down.

In an effort to ease Felix's nerves, Lee Know hesitantly wrapped his arm around Felix and pulled him close. Luckily, Lee Know's efforts paid off since Felix seemed to feel comfortable with this.

"Thank you, I need this." Felix mumbled softly.

Lee Know smiled, nodding. "It's the least I can do."

There was something about feeling Lee Know's arm
around him that just gave Felix a sense of relief and comfort. It was as if that weight was lifted from his shoulders and he didn't feel like breaking down anymore. The whole way back, Lee Know's arm didn't move an inch from around Felix's shoulder.