The Arrangement

Chapter Fifteen

Whichever genius came up with time heals all wounds, and that pain is never eternal, is a dickhead-bitch who clearly had no real-life experience and just had a proficiency for talking out of their ass.

So tonight, I am blaming him for the burn of tequila that slides down my throat and the heat against my exposed arm that stems from the immediate sensory overload of being surrounded by my friends. Not even the fact I love them all very dearly can erase the fact that I'm not ready for any of this, but disappointing them all the time is just as exhausting as crying.

As much as having everyone crowding my room never used to bother me, since every draw exploded across my floor and an ever-growing pile of tissues overflow out of my trash can. I haven't exactly been eager to have anyone in my room, let alone speak to them and yet here I am.

Bargaining my outings is all fun and games until a week later I am finding myself getting ready for an unnecessary party that will surround me in people's bodies and music that thumps against my constant migraine. I'm still not quite used to being annoyed by all of the things that before Bentley never used to bother me, it's irritating to not be able to enjoy all of the things I used to thrive with.

It doesn't do anything good for the hot boil of anger that has been gradually climbing over the past few days, the anger at Bentley and whatever made him take that final step. That this gnawing want to snuggle back into Hugo's embrace is continually thwarted but a suffocating panic and now this disinterest in everything I once thought defined me.

The realisation that I didn't just lose him that night, but I lost me too.

Well, who wouldn't spiral after a discovery like that, and for the record I quite enjoy the way that the rooms seem to rock and glide with every step down the stairs I take. One hand clutched against the railing with my handbag fallen around my elbow and the other holding tighter around the mostly empty, green-tinted glass.

At first, I thought I was a genius, that they wouldn't catch on at how strong I was pouring my pre-drinks because I was the only handling on it, but Cam's eyes watch me with concerned fixation as I leap onto the last step. A pleased smile seems to slide against my lips when I make it down to the last step, knee high boots glitter with rhinestones against the light and dance across the wood flooring.

Cassie's manicured fingers close around my glass and pull the rest of my drink close to her, whipping the grin off of my face with narrowed eyes. "That was mine!" I pout, watching with fascination as the orange fizz slides into her mouth.

Her lips flatten and hollow cheeks contort into a wince, body shuddering as she discovers what I already knew, that the drink was mostly alcohol, and the dash of fizzy drink was only to keep up appearances. If I knew that everyone would have left me alone then it would have been my first choice.

"Might as well be drinking that straight" Cassie winces, dark hair tied back in a tight bun that pulls all her narrow features tighter. "And with the day I have had, that seems like a mighty fine idea"

I notice the red that lines light eyes, the puffiness that swells above her cheeks and this prickle of concern for someone other than myself trickles in. Her hand wrapped in mine; we both stumble into the kitchen where everyone waits to leave.

The blurry haze that I was vying for covers my eyes, and makes my steps stumble and I suppose the lack of nutrition has lead me into being the biggest lightweight out of everyone here. Which continues to be astounding when we taking into consideration that Sophie and Imogen almost never drink anymore.

Too busy being happy and in love with their disgustingly perfect boyfriends who wear their concern for what they've all declared a girl'snight out. Which apparently means all their attention is on the girls, but they couldn't stop the boys from being invited and honestly, I doubt that any of them are keen on leaving us all to fend for ourselves.