her boycut

I felt anxious about her

"She seemed like she could really cure, or may be she seemed like she herself is the cure".

For someone who is stoic ,strong and prideful the idea of opening up to people is something that is unacceptable to self.

'"It really is over ,the pain and suffering. Seems like I'll get to live a new life soon" or so I thought. The idea of turning over a new leaf just because If I don't I won't ever recover."what might happen ,the college is 50 km away,daily commuting for 2+2 hrs seems like a burden but yeah I like the college so it's okay",I said to myself.

Things began to run at high speed just after joining college ,for someone like an 18 year old like me things are ever changing ,you get to adapt to change and the change adapts again ,the more you try to keep in touch with the peace the more it goes away ,that eventually made me hate change. And why is even change a good thing.

Trying to make a solid impression of myself in the class ,there came the English lecturer all geared up with questions regarding English vocabulary. Here comes the first one and there goes the 23 rd one and I've already answered like 20 of those ,he looked at me and smiled ,probably like Ill remember you,what caught my attention is someone with the boycut.
Just the sight of her being there made me nervous ,I who have the biggest ego ,pride and self-respect never had any intention to respect any and treat them as equals ,none came close to the levels of intellect i genuinely thought I have.
Why did I stumble then ,just by looking at her,whats there in her that made me anxious? I thought I'll never know. Until it slowly occured to me that I never liked/loved someone that I felt not anxious about ,how come I like this girl ? I don't know anything about her.