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14.12.23.
another chapter today because i had a realisation.
a realisation i was supposed to have and act on a lot earlier but here we are.
i will do my best this time. it just seems very pathetic to think about a person so much when they have never cared about you.
the more i think about it. the angrier i get. i can't believe i tortured myself like this.
friends don't do this. they don't attack you for every single thing you say. they don't mock and insult you just because you cried once during a sad movie. they don't make you feel like you would be better off dead.
and the fact that i keep thinking about those negative things instead of focusing on myself and the positive stuff is just pure self-sabotage.
so i will do my best to focus on the good things and document them instead of going all depressed about someone who doesn't care a gram about me.
to new beginnings i guess.
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this time i will make it worthwhile.
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