Tokio Hotel: i hate you... I think

Part 14

I lay awake on the bed. What the hell. Why did I do that? I what Tom snoring quietly from the sofa. Why did I stop him? Why didn't I just do what I wanted for once? I keep worrying about what everyone else thinks and now I've made it awkward between be and Tom- who I'm sharing a room with for a whole week! Why the hell did I stop him it's going to be so awkward and now the plan is over , I missed my chance.

After everyone napped for a few hours from the long journey we were all meant to go out for dinner but I needed more to take my mind of this shitty situation. I silently get ready and text Tiana-
Y/n: "Tiana I'm going to the club can u ask if anyone else wants to come?"
Tiana: "Damm girl okay, I'll come, so will bill, Riley, Gustav and Georg. Cameron says he's too tired"
Y/n: "oky meet in 10"
I silently get up and open my suitcase, grabbing out one of my small vest tops and mini skirt, because I didn't sleep my makeup was that ruined so I didn't need to redo it. I knew I needed to ask Tom to try and not make it weird but it still would be. Idk anymore but it feels wrong to act like he doesn't exist.
Y/n: "Tom"
I say softly shaking his arm slightly.
Tom: "what y/n"
He says without hesitation is a cold tone. I can't say I didn't expect it but I was still a bit shocked. Even when we hated eachother he still was nice and playful with me to annoy me. I guess we are rlly never gonna be friends.
Y/n: "everyone except Cameron is going clubbing in ten minutes, either get ready or don't and stay home"
I turn around grabbing my clothes and walk straight to the bathroom. I change quickly and put on more deodorant. I add my favourite chunky jewellery and retouch my makeup- quickly spraying on some perfume. Perfect.
I leave the bathroom and grab my bag off the bed, I look up and is shocked to see Tom lent on the drawers, dressed really like really nice, staring at me. I can't help but stare at him. I can't believe he's going- he's probably just doing because he's angry at me. I know I am. He looks so good I can't help but stare at him. Y/n wtf? Omg.
Tom: "they are waiting"
I don't even reply, his tone is still as cold as before. I can tell he doesn't want to talk to me and I wouldn't either. I walk past him and straight to door, I can't even wait for him I just keep walking and go down the stairs. I hate myself for stopping him. I don't even know why I did it I do like him. And now he hates me. I just have to tough out this tour and try grind someone or something to drown this out.

Riley: "hey baby u look angry what's up? Ur dream boy hurt ur feelings?"
Y/n: "Riley he's not my dream boy and nothing happened that flirting was a prank okay?! So just shut the fuck up I can't be asked with u"
I walk straight past everyone and to the cars waiting out the front and the... oh my god- the paparazzi. I forgot they were here.
'Y/n u looking for boys tonight?'
'You are gonna get those boys with that outfit'
'Y/n watch out Tom will be after you'
Oh ffs. I just go to the car and get it, Tiana getting in after me. The others all split into the last cars.

Tiana: "what's going on lovely?"
Y/n: "nothing"
She raises her eyebrow at me.
Y/n: "fine. It's Tom"
I watch as her face twists with anger
Tiana: "what has the perv done omg I swear to god. I told them we should have made I share a room! NO. What the hell ah e he down y/n"
Y/n: "it was him. It was my fault."
Tiana: "huh?"
Y/n: "I think. I think I like him okay"
She smiles and relaxes into her seat a bit.
Tiana: "oky! That's not bad! So what's happened then..."
Y/n: "we... well there has been some tension I guess. And when we went back to the room I kinda initiated u know. And don't get me wrong he did ask multiple times if I was sure and I said is was"
Tiana giggles a bit as he listens
Tiana: "right... so what went wrong? I bet there is a reason all the girls want him"
She smirks
Y/n: "I wouldn't know."
Tiana: "huh? Y/n u make no sense"
Y/n: "we were practically naked and making out and I mean making out, he was so... just something u know. I I got scared of what everyone would say about me in the media and started to overthink and pushed him off me."
Tiana: "oh. Y/n why are you so worried?"
I shrug.
Y/n: "well I know I'm not anymore because I pushed someone away I like because of them and he defiantly hates me now so I'm never doing that again."
I know she knows imma do something bad tonight.
Tiana: "okay lovely."
She hugs me and we sit silently for the rest of the car ride.

'We are here'
I tip the driver and quickly get out the car, not waiting for anyone. I just want to get away from everyone and just go fucking crazy. I'm so disappointed in myself.
'Y/n over here!'
'Y/n!'
'Y/n''
I just run through all the paparazzi and run straight into the club, paying the bouncer to not let any of the paparazzi in.

I run straight to bar and order 3 shots of tequila and a fruity cocktail, downing the 3 shots and picking up my drink I go straight to the dance floor. Who tonight? I down my drink at the bar and grab another, looking for a guy- any guy. I down another. And another until-
?: "hey gorgeous"
Y/n: "hey handsome, wanna dance"
I see him smile as he takes me to the dance floor.
Y/n: "what's ur name?"
Alfie: "Alfie and you?"
Y/n: "y/n."
Alfie had blonde hair and blue eyes he wasn't tall but was tall enough. But most importantly he wanted me. I need him now. I don't care anymore.
Y/n: "wanna have so fun?"
I wispert in his ear
Alfie: "aha u move fast baby, of course I do"
I grab his hand and drag him around the tables trying to find the one with Tiana and everyone on so I put my bag down.
Bill: "y/n! What the hell?"
I stubble over to the group and put my bag on the table as Alfie starts kissing my neck from behind.
Bill: "y/n what are u doing?"
I giggle.
Y/n: "doing what I want."
I say lightly.
Gustav: " y/n u sure
I nod and look up when Alfie stops kissing my neck and just hugs me weirdly, like he's hanging on for dear life. As I look around the table I see Tom, already staring at me in disgust.
Y/n: "oh shit almost forgot"
I stare at Tom while I open my bag, grabbing out a condom I giggle a little as Alfie starts whispering stuff in my ear and tightening his grip on me. I put the condom in my bar and smile at Tom.
Tiana: "come back after okay"
She says in a sad kinda tone. I nod and Alfie pulls me away. Finally.

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Im so sorry for the literal months of not writing. What the hell😂 I've been accupied with exams and stuff but I'm back for the summer!