The Presentation Line

The Presentation Line

"I am just SO BLESSED, this new 2027 Statestride Rocket 6 is not only Eco-Friendly, but it is one of the fastest production cars on the market." I always like seeing the new car models. I like seeing how different they look compared to last year's model. Sometimes they have sharper lines, or maybe different headlights or front grilles. I don't know much about this Presenter or Rockets, but I know the new Rockets are at least $150,000. Statestride is also known for it's aggressive, yet classy style. "And, it fits perfectly in our 4 car garage! Even our little Olivia can't stop smiling when she's near it!" Ahh yes, the family photo around the new car, that's a real crowd-pleaser. A unifying family photo, everyone smiling and looking happy and satisfied. I gotta hand it to this Presenter, they know how to showcase with class.

I've got 6 more Presenters ahead of me, but I already know exactly what I'm going to show. In fact, I knew I was going to Present my 120" 16K TV before I even purchased it. How could I not show this to everyone? 16K hasn't been around very long, most people are still happy with their new 8K TVs; and most wouldn't dare Present their living rooms with an old 4K TV. But, I've taken some lessons from other, more seasoned, Presenters. You can't just take a simple photo of the TV itself, it has to look like it naturally belongs in the environment. Like it's just there, sitting peacefully as it has been for weeks.

3 more Presenters ahead of me. The new TV and entertainment center is the purpose of my picture, obviously. But, the center of the photo is my 7 year old poodle, Dribbles. Dribbles had just come home from the groomers with a fresh, clean haircut including shampoo and conditioner. I've never seen Dribbles more picture-ready. He sat regally in our living room, smiling wide as I angled my position perfectly so I could get the full size of the TV in the background. Dogs do tend to make picture-taking quite complicated. I know a good selfie is 1 in 100, but a good picture of a dog is rarer indeed. The amount of patience needed to counter the lack of control in an animal feels astronomically disproportionate at times. But, it will all be worth it. My moment has finally come.

I step up onto the Presenting Stage and prepare my speech to go along with the photo. I keep it as simple as possible, so I can give the audience a sense of my humbleness. I step up to the microphone, "Just got home from the groomers, only took a million attempts, Dribbles would not sit still!" Simple. And, obviously, this didn't take me a million photo attempts, but humor covers a multitude of embellishments. Before I walk off of the Stage, I make sure to hit the Publish button, otherwise the last 4 days have been a waste. I take a moment, as I always do, to glance out into the audience. It's an almost-dark room that looks endless. I never get tired of looking out at the dim, shadowy sea of people watching for the next Post to hit their screens. But, my work has only begun with this Presentation.

A less-experienced Presenter would have only planned for the Post itself. But someone of my experience and influence knows the real magic happens in the Response Section. The key to the Response Section is to not engage right way. This is the time to create some anticipation; you must wait a little bit before you start replying to people. If you wait too long, people will lose interest in their own question or comment; or, worse, move on and forget about your Post. If you respond too soon, you appear desperate. I find about 30 minutes is perfectly sufficient. This gives me time to revel in what I imagine people will be saying or thinking.

As I'm walking quickly down the other side of the Presenting Stage, I hear a surprising amount of commotion from the Presenter right after me. "This Presenting Stage is killing us!" What? Killing us? It's harmless, we're just sharing pictures and moments! "-people are dying, but no one is doing anything!" I glance back at the stage to see who this Presenter is, and he's wearing what appears to be very old clothes. Like, very worn and almost wilted-looking. And he had a white bandana or something tied around his right upper arm. This guy is clearly a whack-job. And of course people are dying, that's life! People die all the time, and people are born all the time. But a Presentation has never killed anyone, how could it? It's a Post, not a gun or a knife or some kind of weapon. We're all sharing things we're proud of, or maybe things that provoke other types of responses, but a Presenter can't kill someone from the Presenting Stage, that's absurd. I was surprised he was able to rant as long as he had, and as he started yelling louder "- the land beyond the Radars-" the microphone finally cut out. And less than 5 seconds later, another Presenter was up, sharing a Post about how bad their child's teacher is at teaching. And I just hate that. My daughter's 7th grade math teacher was trying to tell my daughter that the equation 3X + 7 = 12 didn't 'make mathematical sense', which is ridiculous, of course. 5/3 may be an improper fraction, but it's a correct answer nonetheless. And I've looked at several English quizzes where my daughter got points deducted for using the wrong prepositions, but who is this English teacher to tell my daughter that her prepositional phrases are incorrect? If my daughter says she wants to sit under a chair, why shouldn't she? Maybe the floor is more comfortable than the hard plastic butt-numbers they call chairs at the school! Ugh!!