LV1. Wolf's Wife

23. Alexandra - An offer

When I arrived back to the little group with my violin in my hand there was a slight pause in their conversation, but then Carolina stepped forward, linked her arm with mine and ushered me toward the waiting limo.

It always hit me into the face when I was confronted by how rich Romero's dad really was. He was the Las Vegas mafia himself. And as for Oksana, his father was the head of the Chicago bratva. It was strange to think about that man as my grandfather. He never helped us when we struggled, and he only exploited mom's need.

I didn't know any specifics about Oksana's husband or Giulietta's. They both seemed to be man with boundless power and money behind them.

All eight of us were sitting in the limo and Carolina did everything to keep the conversation flowing. She beamed at me almost all the time. I tried my best to participate, with all those more or less silent men in the car. Romero was sitting beside me, thankfully not touching me, but it still made hard to think about anything that was not him. I stole a few glances at him, his fist clenching and unclenching on his thigh. His dad was sitting opposite from me, and he looked just like his son. It was eerie to watch them so close to each other. It was like someone used those aging effects on Romero.

Everything was so strange, like swimming through molasses in a dream. Even London looked totally different through the windows of a limo, more glittery, more vibrant. It seemed like life was full of possibilities and joy.

My life wasn't exactly bad. Romero's dad financed everything I asked for, but I couldn't make myself to ask for anything. I lived in the dorm for the last three years. My life was my violin and my music. Nothing more had place in it. I was ready for the next step, which was the master's degree in performance science. Alexander wasn't happy about that I choose something so boring in his eyes. The truth was that I wasn't really keen on performing on stage. I would rather stay in the background and study others. He told me that I was wasting away my God-given talent, but even he couldn't change my mind.

This program was a singular opportunity to study about the psychology of music and the musicians. I had a feeling that I should have been a little more excited about the opportunity, since only a handful of applicants were accepted from all over the world.

Overall, I should have been grateful and happy. And I was grateful for all the opportunities and choices I was given. But deep down I wasn't happy. Something was missing. I grieved for my lost family, it was what I supposed a missing limb would feel. I thought about them a lot, but couldn't burry myself with them. I had to go on with my own life. If only that feeling of the constant loneliness would go away.

Even amongst all this people, who went out of their way to be here for me today, I felt lonely. I didn't really belong. They all seemed so content. Well, except Romero. He didn't seem content at all, a kind of a nervous energy vibrated from his direction.

The evening didn't end there. When the limo stopped, we were ushered into a smaller dining room with a round table and red upholstered chairs. It was like we stepped into a castle, but we were still in the middle of London.

I only realized where we were, when one of the attendants welcomed us to the Ritz. I gulped a bit and hoped fervently that I wouldn't do anything wrong. I was grateful that I was still wearing my pale blue dress. As I looked around, all the others were in beautiful cocktail dresses, though every woman had her distinct style that I admired. Romero's sister had the most understated, almost laidback style. She looked comfortable in her charcoal-colored simple dress. Oksana was her usual powerful self and she also looked at home in her deep red, sculptured dress. I envied Carolina the most for her style. She was effortlessly sexy without showing off anything. The deep green of her gown made her hair flame and her eyes sparkle. Yet, there was nothing vulgar about her. She looked like someone loving the way she looked like. And I was more than sure that the adoration in Lopez's eyes added to it significantly.