My father.

I don't even recognise who my dad is anymore, I look at him and I see a stranger. there was a point in my life where I was my dads best friend, I looked up to him, I wanted to be him. But now I don't even know who he is. this woman has come into my dads life and in a short amount of time made him unrecogniseable, she gave my dad a son out of spite, she wanted him all to herself so she gave him what he wanted to get me and my sister out of the picture because once upon a time he adored us. We could do no wrong in dads eyes, we were perfect. Now all of a sudden he's got everything he's ever wanted, a son, money, a nice house, a good paying job but where am I in this perfect life he's created for himself. Why am I not in the picture? Why does him having this perfect life exclude me from it? I know exactly why, he can't stand looking at me. I am a spitting image of my mother and he can't accept that. He hates my mum, he has no right to hate my mum. He put my mum through hell and he has the audacity to sit there and bad mouth her like she's the biggest cunt in the world. He was the one who did wrong, he laid his hand on my mum, he abused her, he controlled her every move and he hates her. I think he hates my mum because he hates the way she made him feel, he knew he did wrong but he couldn't stop it and mum showed him that. He knew he was a monster that crept out after the parties were over and everyone had went home or gone to sleep and yet he couldn't stop it. Maybe the drugs really did fuck his brain up because he can't seem to remember anything that happened.