The state that I'm in. (BEING EDITED)

Harry

Hey guys! Long time no read :)

Well I have missed my girls very much...you know who you are...

I have decided to write this chapter on Harry's point of view to clear out some loose ends. I love you so much and thanks for reading again xxxxx

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HPOV

Just thinking about Valerie puts a smile on my face. She is by far the kindest person I have ever met. The first time I saw her at the club that night which seems like years ago now, I knew she was special. I know I sound cliché but love is like that.

She captivated me with her smile and her sparkling eyes that exuded her gentle sweet personality. She was sexy don't get me wrong, those curves, that angelic face and that hair were to die for but that wasn't what drew me to her. I had that...girls were always throwing themselves at me I don't know why because I never led them on but Valerie she saw right through me. She could sense I was holding back, that I was in pain and she wanted to ease it. She asked me to dance with her, not because she wanted to win me over but because she didn't want me to feel left out. She was so fucking beautiful but she had no idea...there is nothing more appealing than being naturally beautiful and not make a huge deal about it. she was herself and had no agenda. She was simply adorable...Look at me talking like a bloody schoolgirl about her crush but Valerie was certainly no crush...she was it for me. I haven't loved a person in my life more than her. When Antony came in the picture she wasn't threatened by him. She didn't feel like she was sharing me with him. She welcomed him in our lives even though she didn't have to and I was so grateful for that. She understood that fatherhood was different and that the kind of love I had for him was different.

God I miss her. I miss how I felt holding her, waking up to her, loving her, making love to her...I miss her smile, her laugh, her touch, the way she would give up after I tickled for five seconds, the way she would brush my hair with her fingers and comb it into a bun. I miss her grin when she would realize that she got my tea right just the way I like it. I miss reading my book with her in my arms while she was doing her homework. I miss our conversations and our arguments and the heated make up sessions after them of course. I miss her scent, her taste, her everything. It's unhealthy to love someone so fucking much. It should be against the law. It rips your heart out once you lose them and the truth is that when you have something so fucking wonderful...you are bound to lose it. It's unreal, it's just...it isn't ...I don't know.

When I told her about the whole situation I thought she would definitely freak out and want nothing to do with me but boy did she prove me wrong. She wanted me, just me with whatever baggage I held...and when everything started she never once backed off. She never once doubted us, unlike me. she never once feared them, unlike me. she never once gave up, unlike me.

When I saw her in that hospital bed I thought I died a thousand deaths. I realized the lengths they would go to, to keep us apart. They were so fucking ignorant, so fucking stupid to think that I would want to be with Nadia. No fucking way...especially after what they had done. However, Valerie...my Valerie was their punching bag and I couldn't let that happen. She shouldn't pay for my drunken mistakes. She should be on the receiving end. Leo was right. She deserved more.

The moment I figured out that he was in love with her, I lost it. I knew he loved her but I thought it was a kind of sibling love since they almost grew up together but I was so wrong. Every time I mentioned her name at work he would frown, every time I told him about something we did together he would be silent or give me one word replies. I lost count of the times I caught him staring at her with lustful sad eyes. He loved her, he knew her, he was single free of worries. In other words he was available not to mention suitable for her. When Valerie confirmed my suspicions the puzzle was complete. He was in love with her and I took her away from him. I confronted him and he didn't even deny it. Ever since, our interactions were scarce, only work-related until they stopped all together. The only reason I was civil to him was the fact that I was grateful he introduced me to Val and because I knew how much he meant to her...but he remained a threat and I was worried that one day Val would wake up and realize that I wasn't worth all her trouble and that Leo would always be there. That pretty much sums it up. He was a threat, a big threat.