Shinunoga e-wa

I'd Rather Die

Sarada entered her room, pressed her back against the closed door, and sunk down to the floor. She tugged at her short hair in frustration, sinuses swelling, eyelids heating up, lips curling back against her teeth.

Tears dripped from her eyes like a leaky faucet.

She couldn't afford to be this childish. Not when Eida could see her. Part of keeping the fact that her and Sumire weren't under her spell was supposed to be hiding her feelings at all times, no matter what. But she was tired of holding back.

And Eida already knew... She'd known since the beginning. If she could see past events, it was easy to tell... How much she cared for him.

Moments before, she had been in the Uzumaki household, carefully running her fingers over a cracked picture frame. Himawari appeared and asked suddenly why Boruto was the one in the picture instead of Kawaki.

She struggled to explain. To choke back the grief that she nearly let out upon the sight of little Boruto smiling without a care in the world as he sat with his family in the Seventh's lap.

Gently placing the cracked photo frame in its rightful place, she swallowed the torrent of emotions back down, and simply said, "Because Boruto is your real brother."

Himawari tilted her head. Patted Sarada on the shoulder gently. And walked away.

By this point, everyone thought she was completely insane. No matter how much she tried to reason with them, no one believed her. It was a long battle that she fought nearly every day since he left: struggling to reverse omnipotence through blatant evidence that no one believed.

And now... All she could think of as she sat on the floor in the dark... Was the past.

"Sarada!" Boruto called her name, racing ahead of her. "Come on! Let's play!"

"...I don't wanna..."

"Shikadai isn't scary! Just come on!"

He ran back to her and tugged on her small hand, but Sarada remained glued to the spot. "I'm not leaving until papa comes back!"

Boruto pouted. "When is he gonna come back?"

"I... Dunno."

Boruto marched up to her and grabbed her wrist, hoisting it out towards him. "Here. I'll promise it'll be okay. Then you have to come, alright?"

"...Huh?"

Wrapping his pinky around hers, he started gently shaking it in rhythm to the rhyme in his words. "Yubikiri genman, uso tsuitara hari senbon no--masu! (Pinky promise, if I'm lying I'll swallow 1000 needles)!" With that, he let go and grabbed her hand. "Come on! Let's go!"

If only he knew how scary they'd gotten.

Sarada's face completely contorted. She curled onto her side in a ball, arms coming up to hide the tears that leaked over her nose and the ugly shape of her stretched lips.

Cho-Cho, Mitsuki, Shikadai, Inojin... Not even Himawari was the same.

She missed everyone. The way everything used to be. And most of all... She missed him.

This wasn't like the situation with her father. She was used to him being gone, simply looking forward to the sparce times when he would return for a day or two. Missing him, worrying about him, but knowing he was strong and safe and quite honestly prepared for the worst should it come to pass.

No, this wasn't like her father's situation at all.

She missed Boruto terribly, because Boruto was always there. He'd always been there since she was a kid. Like an annoying thorn in her side that she refused to take out. Just when she thought he wasn't paying attention, he'd say something that showed he'd been watching her carefully. He was there to cheer her up in her father's absence. He always seemed to save her just in time when she froze up under the opponent's bloodlust.