☏♡Chiscara oneshots♡☏

❥Letters❥

Description:He teased him for writing letters but soon found out why. TW: SUICIDE AND CHARACTER-DEATH. (Sorta short)

     If only he had known. That thought haunted him every moment he breathed. The day had started as if normal, if only he'd known he could have held him in his arms; shown him there was still light then that day would have been lost within the past but now it sticks out in his memory like a black stain on white that could never wash away.

   They had been lazying around in Ajax's room, his friend Scaramouche occupying his desk for what Ajax assumed to be homework; He was always very smart, his grades praised by many. The truth was Ajax had been in love with him, every single piece of him Ajax loved but he was just too shy to say it; afraid of rejection. The Ginger's eyes watched him affectionately, he always found his focused face to be adorable. He could still so clearly remember what he wore that day, that black hoodie and purple pyjama pants.

   After awhile curiosity got the best of him and he went to go peek at what the raven was so preoccupied by; despite not bothering to learn in school he'd never pass the opportunity to listen to Scaramouche talk fondly of whatever new book study he was doing or interesting science fact he learned. Instead he had found him writing letters. Each one to a different person; he wished he had sooner realized what the true meaning of these letters were but being naive that thought never once arose. "Scara are you seriously writing letters? There's a thing called texting now." Ajax teased, he was met with a scowl from the smaller boy "Oh shut up." He almost sounded hurt by his words, this confused him; by now he should know his teasing was all in good fun.

   "So what you writing about mouchie?" He asked peeking over his shoulder, the Raven quickly hid his words with his hands "Just birthday invitations for my mother." Ajax chuckled "You liar, like you'd write an invitation to your mother for her own party" he let down when he saw that the boy had begun to cry "I- Shit Scara I'm sorry- please don't cry" He spoke softly, the boy got up in a rush; shoving all his letters into his bag and storming out of the room. He wished so dearly he hadn't let him leave that day, instead grabbed onto his hand and pulled him close.

   He'd texted the raven many times, practically blowing up his phone; he still received no answer, after hours he'd given up, promising to make up with him when he saw him the day after. How stupid he was, he would never see those sharp indigo eyes again after that night.

     Ajax had waited patiently at the front gates of the school for Scaramouche, all the way till the teachers had to drag him to first period. Everything felt weird, Scara had barely missed school and knowing him he'd rather die then be late. Things went on like this for the rest of the week, he'd called the Raiden's residence many times but still to no avail; no one would pick up.

   On Friday he'd walked over there, consumed by worry he knocked on the door; he was greeted by Scaramouche's mother Ei. She was a mess, her face tired and her eyes swollen and red from crying. "Mrs.Raiden, is Scaramouche home? I'd like to speak with him.." tears fell from her eyes she grabbed something from inside the house: one of his letters. His name was written on it in cursive with red ink.

"He's dead Ajax"

   "he passed away in the hospital a couple days ago; he.. he had lacerations on.. on his wrists and had overdosed on his anti-depressants" this couldn't be real. He ran, he couldn't believe what he'd just heard.

   It had been years before he'd opened that letter, the pain too grief. Four years to be exact. In the beginning he'd pretend as if none of it was real; pretended as if Scara had gone off on a trip, he wrote him letters. Letters telling him about his life here and how much he'd missed him. The ginger had graduated, gotten a job, moved out; lived his life with the false idea that Scaramouche would come back, he'd tell him how he felt and they'd get married, maybe have children.

    The day he'd read the letter was when a woman had asked him on a date, he'd turned her down kindly; stating he was waiting for his love. Then everything just snapped. He couldn't go on pretending he was alive, he rushed home digging through his drawers and there he found it, crumpled with the same red ink. He opened it, his friends handwriting still so neat as wilted rose petals fell gracefully to the floor.

    my dearest, Ajax

  I'm so incredibly sorry but I just couldn't go on, please know none of this was your fault; I truthfully want to thank you with all my heart for making my life a bit brighter, you are truly kind for offering that to such an undeserving person such as myself.

I never told you this but I've loved you all my life, I could never bring myself to tell you because I know you could never love someone like me.

  He could see the raven's tears warping the page and smudging the ink.

Please go on, live like you were meant to; you'll do great things, I believe you will my love. I will forever watch over you

  With love, Kunikuzushi..

     Since then he'd always gone to visit his grave, he'd grown and had a wife and son, he'd always go to tell Scaramouche about them; bring him pictures.

   Whenever he was with her he couldn't help but imagine her as an older kunikuzushi, gentle wrinkles to his face when he'd smile; he never left his mind.

   He loved her but she just wasn't him. Every day he'd continue to write him letters and leave them at his grave with dried roses.

(I'm so sorry lmfao-𝖁𝖆𝖒𝖕𝖘 1039 words:b)