Band One Shots BoyxBoy and GirlxGirl

Cashby

Scaring The Thought Of Kissing Razors ( Stay Away From My Friends by Pierce The Veil)

In which Alan does something stupid and Austin finds out.

ALAN ASHBY X AUSTIN CARLILE

**TRIGGER WARNING**

Fuck up

Waist of space

Shitty guitarist

Unloved

These where just a few of the things floating around Alan's social media. Every band gets hate, there isn't a single one that doesn't, you just have to brush it off and ignore it. Unfortunately, the ginger guitarist wasn't very good at doing that.

Alan shakily held the razor to his wrist, he knew he shouldn't, knew that he would regret it later, that the band would hate him for it- Austin would hate him for it. But that was part of the problem wasn't it? Austin Robert Carlile, that fucking sexy, unusually tall, tattooed, Disney loving unclean vocalist who made Alan's heart flutter , stomach do summersaults and dick get pretty damn excited. he was part of the problem too. Coming back to the bus with a new slut every show, the way he would kiss her passionately, pressing her hard against the couch. Sometimes they would disappear back into the bunks, and it was nights like those when Alan camped out in the lounge, headphones turned up to full blast so not to hear there moans and squeals.

Oh how Alan wished I was him pinned down underneath the lengthy boy, how he wished it was him Austin kissed passionately, he wanted to be the one to make Austin moan, scream, come. He wanted it to be him. But no, Austin would rather fuck a random stranger slut.

But Alan couldn't exactly blame Austin now could he? He was the front man for a famous metalcore band with girls practically throwing themselves at him on a daily basis. You can't just ignore that, no you take advantage of it, Alan sure would- that is, if he was into girls.

Alan had girls throwing themselves at him too, but as said before, he doesn't swing that way. Of course there where a few guys all over him too, but Alan was very much closeted and figured that bringing a guy back to the bus wouldn't be the best way to keep that secret. But even so, Alan didn't want some random man whore, because he wanted his best friend, his band mate, his inspiration, Alan didn't want dome random man whore because he wanted Austin.

But of coarse, as life would have it, Austin was straight as a fucking ruler. He wasn't by any means homophobic, but Alan had no doubt that Austin would hate him if he ever confessed to liking him. He would shun him, hate him, loath him, hell, he might even go as far as looking for a new rhythm guitarist, and Alan couldn't stand it.

. So with that in mind, and the terrible things people where saying about him online shining on his phone screen, Alan slid the cold metal across his wrist. He bit down hard on his bottom lip, the cut stung like a bitch but at the same time felt so god damn good. He squeezed his eyes shut as he dragged the cold metal across his pale flesh. He hadn't felt the sting of his blade for so long, and all of the hate and anxiety weighing down on him was just enough to give him the courage to pick it up again. Alan made three more cuts across his wrist, but they weren't very deep or satisfying, so he pulled is skinny jeans and boxers down, staring at his clean thighs he decided they lacked some serious blood. This time Alan thought about Austin the whole time, tears stinging his eyes as he carved the word into his thigh unloved.

. Alan gave a twisted smile at the crimson liquid flowing from the word,and a bit farther down he once again brought the metal to his skin, faggot, and finally one last word to the right. This last one, this final word being the most important and meaningful, yet probably the simplest, here, Alan bright the blade down carving the word- name, Austin.