Merry Abyssmas

"Oh, mio Dio!" Elsie Largo cursed under her breath and gripped her armrest as hard as she could. Her breath appeared before her as a white cloud that she was quickly rushed through as the sleigh upon which she rode lurched forward. "Did we not learn from our mistakes of the past?! When we so foolishly permitted Weronika to drive us to McDonald's!" she complained, slightly louder now.

"Awww, shut your second asshole!" Weronika snorted over her shoulder. Unlike Elsie, the cold wasn't bothering her.

"Seperack!" Elsie shrieked in indignation while Weronika bellowed with laughter.

"Cuz you're fulla shit and that's all that ever comes outta ya either way, either end!" Abyssmare's second vocalist pulled the sleigh like an oversized, overly-excited Polish hound. Rather than a dog, wolf, or bear, though, today, she was a reindeer!

St. Weronikolas was her name, and delivering gifts and Christmas cheer to her three younger siblings was her game! And her three elvish helpers were none other than Neo Lone, Sophia Smith, and Elsie Largo (Elfie on a Shelfie, or as Weronika would say, "Selfie", because of Elsie's intense vanity). Each one held a present in her lap, for one of Weronika's three younger siblings: Mick, Johnathan, and Marie Seperack.

"I s-s-suppose it is true what they say!" Elsie finally tried again to speak up against the biting, howling winter wind to taunt Weronika. "That lesbians cannot drive!" Weronika snorted to herself, not just because Elsie's words were funny, but because they were true, for all of them.

You guys give ME a lotta shit for MY bad driving, but y'all suck too! Pot callin' kettle "black"...

Elsie, however, was not finished. "Honestly, you look like such a tacky loser—even more than usual, I mean—that Elsie is embarrassed just being seen near you! Your vibes are disgusting!" She hissed against the hissing wind, and silently hissed at herself for agreeing to entertain Weronika's little scheme in the first place. But for whatever reason, Neo agreed, and then Sophia of course, and that would've left Elsie as the only Abyssmare member not participating, so... Perhaps Elsie fancied herself a strong and independent young lady, but it was highly debatable in reality.

"Oh, watch it, you Scrooge-haired, Scrooge-hearted, lump of coal!" Weronika snorted again, glancing at the smaller girl's white hair and black fur coat. "Take the L, Elsie, or you'll end up on Santa's Naughty List, and Imma buck you right into the snow!"

The moment Weronika made her threat, Sophia clung to Neo's arm. Neo flinched and ripped away (or at least tried to) but Sophia was fully prepared to be Neo's anchor and defend her with her life in the event Weronika really did try throw any of them out of the sleigh.

Sophia couldn't help but envy Weronika that she got to be the "driver". Elsie was not wrong to criticize her driving, after all. But in the AU where Sophia pulled the sleigh, they still nearly crashed because she was too eager to prove herself a worthy steed/mount to Neo. In that timeline, Neo would go flying from the sleigh with the same bored face and crossed arms as always. Weronika was not wrong to criticize all their driving.

"What are you? The Max to Neo's Grinch?! Your wolf hoodie ears already could be weird antlers!" Weronika would snort-laugh, and Sophia would subsequently threaten to hurl her out of the sleigh for even thinking ofcomparing Neo to the Grinch, let alone actually saying it out loud! Weronika would agree to stop... but only because she wanted to turn the joke on Elsie. Then it would be Elsie's turn to threaten to throw Weronika out of the sleigh, though Sophia would not defend her the way she defended Neo.

Why Neo came along anyway was anyone's guess. Except Neo herself, of course. I merely wish to observe. This amuses me.

Getting to enjoy an up-close and personal view of Weronika acting a fool—as if drunk on eggnog—was the best Christmas gift Neo didn't even know she wanted until Weronika presented the idea. Aside from the sheer ridiculousness of Weronika pulling a sleigh carrying her three, bundled-up unit-mates with a gift in each of their laps, there was also the fact that Weronika was actually dressed as a reindeer while doing it, antlers and all.