The Quandary: Friend or Relationship?

Here I am, 16 years old, and at a perplexing crossroads. Many of my peers have already experienced romantic infatuation with someone in their high school experience. I have cherished deep friendships, but I've never felt a romantic attraction to someone, until Nicole.

Nicole is one of the girls at my high school. She came a little over a year ago, and we became friends pretty quickly. She is kind, supportive, and genuinely fun to be around. We have been good friends for the past year. Then there is the introduction of a surprise for me, do I like Nicole? I'm not sure.

I have spent the past few weeks thinking about this situation. First, I'm trying to decide if she likes me. If she doesn't, then there's no point in pursuing a relationship (in my opinion). If she does, then what do I do?

Let me explain something. I value friendships a lot. And when I say a lot, I mean a lot. I have always been an introvert and have not been able to connect very well with people. It is very hard for me to understand them, or them me. This is why I cherish close friends. When I met Nicole, she understood me, and I connected with and understood her. It was nice to finally have someone who could accept and value me and the things I do.

Back to the question: Do I like her? The answer: Yes and no. When people think of a romantic relationship, they think of having a good friend, but also of having someone they can connect with sexually as well. Not necessarily in a bad way, but as boyfriend and girlfriend do, holding hands, hugging, eventually marriage and the things that come with it. I want an intimate friend. I don't want the sexual attachment.

I want a good friend, someone who understands me and appreciates me for who I am. I found that in Nicole. I don't necessarily want a relationship. Do I dive into the relationship and hope a friendship comes out of it? I'm not sure.