I Hate to Admit (Short Story)

I Hate to Admit

The stars in his eyes were dimmer than what they once were. The smile on his face that once brightened rooms, was now washed away to a frown.

He watched the clouds slowly drift over the moon, leaning over the balcony railing in his dorm room.

"It's as beautiful as she was"

...

"I hate to admit it but... I miss you."

After closing his window and laying on his bed with a heavy mind, he sees something out of the corner of his eye. What seemed to be a photo frame with the image of the beautiful smiles they once shared for each other, and the loving eyes they had. Feeling something hit his arm he realized the tears had started to fall again.

He let out a long sigh-

"How could I forget... How you lied to me."

   +++

Her figure flashing in front of him as a memory crashed over his vision. Where she was last seen, the last time he saw her beauty, the last time he heard her voice... It's all too clear for comfort.

His head started running with thoughts on what he wished he had said, the things he wished had stopped her from what she did.

'I want to be honest with you, I want to give up... I don't know. I can't give up on you though...I'll wait a little longer!'

If only he had gotten to her sooner.

+++

He walked into school after that, head heavier than he woke up with. Unknowingly he found himself at 'Their' spot. Where she confessed to him... where she flashed that beautiful smile of hers that seemed to be buried deep within her. He sat down on the bench where he once sat 2 years ago, hands going yellow from his tight grip on the wood beneath him.

"I hate to admit it" he sobs out, looking out to the cloudy sky ahead of him

"I still miss you..." the tear falls to his leg, heart stinging, and vision blurry.

"How could I forget... I promised you..." whipping his tears away remembering the promise he had made her 2 years prior.

"If we ever part ways I promise to be happy for you, so you can be sad! I won't even cry! You can feel what you need to feel. But I will withhold it... for you."

+++

He lay again on his dark bed, his hair flying over his face as he closes his eyes trying to clear his mind after the heavy day he had. However something is blocking his thoughts from filtering for the night.

He frustratingly sits up and holds his head as more tears slip form his already burning blue eyes.

"I cant stop thinking about you! All night...long." He breathes out in sobs slightly yelling.

He lays his head back down accepting the pain he is feeling over again.

" I hate to admit it...I still...miss you." He breathes into his pillow burying his body into his comforter.

"It's hard to understand why you did this...but... I might as well forget."

He finally starts dozing off his eyes closing desperately. His clock flashing on and off from his side desk with the date reading

'15, September'

The day she ended it all and left all her previous pain behind.

The deep end had consumed them both.