hits different - Taylor Swift and Travis kelce

avery and maddison

-Taylors Pov-

"We have some things to discuss," the doctor says, and my heart gets caught in my throat. I don't know what's going to come out of his mouth next, but it could change my life, irreparably damaging it, forever. I feel lost, and helpless.

"your kids are stable for now. There was some touch and go for a while, but they are both stabilized on their ventilators and their stats are holding steady. Now it's sadly all about waiting and seeing how things progress. They are not out of the woods yet. preemies at 28 weeks are at risk for serious complications like brain damage, and respiratory issues among other things. I want you two to prepare yourself for a long road ahead of you" It's not an uplifting speech, but I take a deep breath knowing they are stable for now.

"when can I see them" I ask and bite my lip. I just want to see them with my own eyes. "I'm sorry Miss Swift, but because of your own surgery and the risk of infection, you can't enter the NICU for a few days. It's for your safety and the safety of your babies. They are at high risk of catching something and we need to be utmost careful" he says and my heart sinks.

My babies are fighting for their lives, and now they are telling me that their own mommy can't see them. What kind of bullshit is this? It's cruel as hell. What if one of them dies before I even get the chance to see them with my own eyes? He has already stated that the risks for them are so high anything could go wrong at this point. I won't be able to calm down before I get to see them, touch them, hold them. Be their mom.

"I know that might be distressing to hear. But it is for everyone's safety. You will be able to see them as soon as it's medically safe. For now, you need to focus on healing yourself, because the more you work yourself up the harder it's going to be to heal quickly" The doctor continues but all I hear is blabbing.

"your spouse can see them. Mr. Kelce, I can take you to them right away if you so wish" The doctor turns to Travis, and I want to scream. Of course, he gets to see them. He didn't have to have them removed from his body traumatically in fucking emergency surgery. No, he got to wait outside and see them sooner than me. fuck this, fuck them all.

"Taylor. I'll go see our little ones and take loads of pictures for you okay" he tries to comfort me, but I just glare at him. "this isn't fair" I whimper.

"I know it's not fair. But it's reality. You will be able to see them soon, promise you beautiful" he kisses me softly before following after the doctor, leaving me in the hospital room alone. It smells of antiseptic and the vital machine I'm hooked up to keeps beeping along with my heartbeat. I'm going to go insane if I'm going to be stuck here for days, especially not seeing my little boy and girl.

-Travis's Pov-

They show me how to wash up correctly and scrub in like they do before getting close to the kids. Everything seems to be moving in slow motion as we make our way into a room with two incubators, our twins. The room smells of antiseptic and is otherwise pretty bare except for a couch and chair I assume are for the parents. Medical equipment is everywhere, including beside their incubators. The sound from the respirators sends chills to my bones, those sounds are what's keeping them breathing right now. It's terrifying, knowing that without these machines they wouldn't be here with us now. Medical developments have come far, and I couldn't be more grateful that there is something out there that can help us.

"do you have names for them picked out?" a nurse with a nice smile comes over and asks me. "we do, Maddison and Avery" We picked out the names only last week, but it wasn't that hard to pick it once we got those two names on the list. We just knew right then and there what was right for them, the right names. Panicking about picking the right names seems so silly now, now that I can see their little fragile bodies covered by a plastic box.

"You can come closer if you'd like. It's perfectly safe" the same nurse says, and I take a step between both incubators, trying to take in both of them at the same time. they are so small, so red and vulnerable. Their little chests are moving a little heart-shaped lead on their naked chest. It's amazing how these plastic boxes can create the perfect environment, completely regulated, to help the babies the best they can. The hospital is doing what it can to help our kids, I don't doubt that for a moment.

"They are so small" I whisper. "they are, but they are strong as well. Their hearts are beating strong, and they are holding on" she says and I just nod, not knowing what else to say.

She leaves and takes her seat at the nurse's desk, leaving me alone with my babies. Not knowing which one to go closer to I just stand there like an idiot moving my eyes between them. It's strange how you can almost feel your heart grow at the sight of someone you love. and it's strange to me how you can love someone you don't even really know yet, you just know of them. I love them without knowing anything about them, anything about who they are going to be as people. All I know is their medical information and their names, that's it.

"Avery, Maddie, Mommy, and Daddy love you so much. Both of you" I say softly, not taking my eyes off one longer than just looking at the other one for a bit. How can I ever stop looking at my precious little munchkins. "we are going to do everything we can to keep you protected, promise."

-Taylors Pov-

Travis is upstairs looking at our babies and I'm stuck here in this hospital bed. he gets to see them while I need to be patient. I'm not a particularly patient person at times like this. But I also don't want to bring any germs that can harm my little munchkins either. It's a balancing act, I guess. I just need to trust that they will get me up there as soon as they can.

It takes another hour before Travis comes downstairs again looking emotional. "they are perfect Taylor" he sits down on the edge of the bed and takes my hand in his again. Touching him in any way brings me comfort, so much comfort. It's like a simple touch of his hand wraps a security blanket around me tightly. With him touching me nothing can hurt me. it's silly, but that's what it feels like to me. he is safe, he is home.

"Are they okay?" I whisper and he reluctantly nods "For now, I think. I heard steady monitors and they seemed to be calm at least. There were a lot of sounds, the respirators, heart monitors and IV pumps all made sound, but it was fine. they are keeping them alive. That's what I kept reminding myself of. It's hard to see them with tubes all attached to them, but it's keeping them alive."

it can't have been easy to see them like this. So fragile and dependent on doctors to survive. I'm just thankful for the medical advancements that help them stay alive. But I still long to see them, even if it's hard. Even if it's the hardest thing I'll ever have to see I want to see them. They are my babies, I need them, I need them to be okay.